From the Internet (Cliff's cousin sent this to me)

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?

Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?

Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?

Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.


Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?

Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?

Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys

Work and refuses to retire?

Answer: NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement,

Attic or garage?

Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult

Kids will want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?

Answer: Normal .


Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?

Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to

School as a retiree?

Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work,

But misses the people he used to work with?

Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


QUESTION: What do you do all week?

Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest.