What do you think about roadside memorials? We have several around here: there's one in town where a teenager lost her life as a result of a four-wheeler accident, and one not far south of town where a young woman lost her life after being tossed from a motorcycle almost two years ago. I see this type of memorial everywhere, when we travel.
I don't care for them, personally. If you make a roadside memorial, you're doing it on somebody's land. Did you ask them if it was OK to do this? Why can't you just go to the grave and put your sentimental objects there?
I suppose if it helps you through the grieving process, it's a good thing.
Just know that if Cliff and I have a motorcycle accident, and one or both of us die, that we do not want a piled-up mess of flowers and stuffed animals at the site where we died. Figure out some better way to remember us. Please. You know, donate money to a worthy cause in our names. Something that will benefit somebody, instead of polluting the landscape.
But that's just my own humble opinion.
Express your opinion on the poll on the right.
I don't see a problem with them being put where they are for the reasons that you list. Most are on state land, near the road. I'm all for letting folks grieve as they need to.
ReplyDeleteHowever (did you see that coming?) I have another issue with the roadside memorials. They often have words involved: Either the name of the deceased or the date or something. Two different times, I've caught myself trying too hard to read the memorial, and not enough concentrating on the road.
If you must do it, leave off the lettering, please.
No worries from my end. I find them to be in bad taste.
ReplyDeleteWe have quite a few around here. I've never been for them. One on the way to the ranch where a young man was killed had the bumper to his big truck there for years along with flowers etc. They hamper mowing by the county.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the ones that's maintained, others eventually turn into a pile of crap
ReplyDeleteWhere I'm from (South Africa) there are very few roadside memorials, but when I do see one they always make me think that someone just can't move on from their loss, and that's very sad.
ReplyDeleteWhat we do have a lot of are simple white crosses. No flowers, often no name - if there is one it's too small to read without stopping - just an X marking the spot where someone died. I don't mind that at all.
As a fellow biker, it also makes you slow down a bit and pay attention on the twisty roads, because inevitabley there are more white crosses on those.
You know where you loves ones got killed and that is just a bad reminder. Plus the road crews have to work around all that and it is unfair to them. Why put flowers there since their body is not there? That is my personal opinion. Helen
ReplyDeleteIt always amazes me the different ways people have of mourning those they lost. Sometimes I think they serve as a reminder to us to be careful driving. To slow down and be more alert. But most of the time I just ignor them.
ReplyDelete'On Ya'-ma
I'm rather ambivalent about them. Outside of the fact a few of them that I see quite often seem to stay with me...like the one out on Highway 20 where a young girl's body was dumped on the side of the road like yesterday's garbage. She'd had a hard life, living on the streets of Portland. Drugs and prostitution and such. Her family DID love her, but these were her life choices. Her death happened a few years back and her memorial is well-maintained. People still care. I see it every time we go to Hubby's archery club. I haven't forgotten her story yet. And it always reminds me to stop and be thankful for the good life I have.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my husband is an avid bicyclist and I worry about him whenever he's out on the road. The Ghost Bikes bother me worse than anything.
ReplyDeleteIf they give some comfort or a place to "put" some feelings, fine, but I've been behind "gawkers" who've almost caused accidents from their "viewing intensity."~Mary
ReplyDeleteI don't like them. They are distracting and could cause more accidents. There is a stretch from Manchester NH to Hampton Beach NH where they have allowed people to put up just crosses and there was over a hundred last time I was there. You spend your time counting all the teen lives lost and miss the beauty.
ReplyDeleteI voted but the web page didn't coem up so I will tell you what I beleiev. i am glad you brought this up caue I think I am in the minority here on this subject. I don't care for road side memorials myself. God forbid that something happened to one of my loved ones in an automobile accident..I sure don't want to be reminded of where it happened daily as I pass by. I have wondered for a long time how the family feels when they drive by and have to be reminded that THIS is where they lost a loved one...
ReplyDeleteJust my opinion.I think that like you said...send a donation or place a flower on their grave.
love,
carlene
I don't care for the roadside "memorials" for many of the same reasons that you list. The other "memorial" I don't understand are the "signs" that people place on their car windows that say things like "In loving memory of John Smith 9/19/52 - 10/5/83" . . exactly WHAT is in loving memory of them? The Car? I can understand that statement if it's printed on a donated park bench or other permanent memorial site . . but on your CAR?
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of them around here too. I think there are other ways to do it without putting it out on the roadside.
ReplyDeleteHi Donna...have read a few of your blogs...will catch up sooner or later....and I voted...I don't think they are a good thing...and well about that "raining on Easter Sunday" and rain for seven sundays afterward....as hubby says...it might be raining somewhere...just not where we are at that time LOLOL...he is a silly!!! and all your planting...your place will be a "showplace" soon...for sure....hugs to ya...Ora
ReplyDeleteI find them to be sad but inappropriate. I find myself gawking and trying to see the name and could end up off the road myself. My heart goes out to the family but there are better ways to leave a legacy for the deceased. Donate to your local animal shelter or food cupboard for example. Also the ones on the back window I find distracting as I try to read them. Again, my heart breaks for the family but they would feel even worse if they caused an accident.
ReplyDeleteIt's a difficult one in fact, Donna, because it is so personal. It is probably easier for people to go somewhere that is not a cemetery where they can remember their loved one, where their last living moments occurred.
ReplyDeleteAs usual I agree with you 100%
ReplyDeleteI agree Donna. I think they are inappropriate and distracting. hey speak only of death. Some other living memorial would be best to serve the memory of the one who has past, even if it's just to endow a park bench.
ReplyDeleteDB
I'm with you. It feels unnecessary and distracting to the drivers and users of the roads.
ReplyDeleteIt is unfortunate that some faiths here erect disposable alters and burn incense and offerings, as well as real food left on the ground by the road side for the spirits to eat.
It creates a mess and burn patches on an otherwise nicely manicured grass/curbs and landscape.
At the end of the day, there will be trash everywhere when stray dogs and crows mess the offerings up, only for the road cleaners to clean-up after.
Old rituals and ancient beliefs die hard. They can go to temples to offer their prayers and food to spirits, but would rather do such practices and mess-up, and many instances damage public places.
It is unfortunate, but we learn to tolerate each other since we live in a multiracial and multi-faiths society.