Friday, April 27, 2007

my wedding cake

I'm convinced that I was born with some sort of birth defect that left me lacking many of the inclinations females are supposed to have. Shoes, for instance. And purses. What's the big deal? And who cares if they match?

Oh, and engagement rings. When I see women gather around oohing and ahhing over the rock on somebody's finger, I just don't get it. What's it supposed to prove? That you found a sucker who has a good enough credit rating so he can go into hock to pay for that ring?

And I have never liked weddings. Up until I was about thirteen, I could put up with them, if for no other reason than the mixed nuts, cake, and punch afterward. But after I was forced to participate as a candle-lighter in my cousin's nuptials, I never wanted to attend another one, ever again.

I had to wear this shimmering gold-colored ankle-length dress that was not me at all. There were rehearsals on school nights when I'd rather have been doing homework, for pete's sake. And I was just getting over some version of the flu; I had that tickle in my throat where you know that if you cough once, you'll be hacking and gagging for ten minutes straight. Right during the vows, I got that tickle, and it was all I could do to hold back that cough; my face got all red and my eyes watered from the tickling, but I couldn't start coughing in front of the three hundred plus people in the pews.

So. When Cliff and I decided to get married, we simply got married. No cake, no guests, no gifts. No fancy wedding dress. No rings.

Which was dandy for my own part, but my mother felt very much cheated. She had looked forward, for years, to giving her hermit daughter a big send-off. I didn't even tell her I was getting married until after the deed was done.

Mother baked wedding cakes, back then, and loved doing it. She made some really nice ones, too. A big part of her dream for my wedding had been to bake a wedding cake for me, and she was not going to be denied.

We went out to my parent's house for Sunday dinner, perhaps two or three months after tying the knot. I don't recall who else was there, but I do know there were others. I was in the only dress I owned at the time because we all went to Church together that morning. Cliff's sister had fixed my hair in a totally different style than I ever wore, and my curls didn't cooperate well. We walked into my parent's house, and there it was: a wedding cake big enough to do justice to the King of England.

There weren't enough people there to eat so much cake, but never fear: Mother made the bottom two layers out of Styrofoam. By George, her daughter was going to have the biggest and best wedding cake ever, one way or another!

Don't you just love the looks on our faces? And the way we're dressed, alongside that fancy creation of my mom's?

Mothers. You gotta love 'em.


  1. Anonymous7:57 AM

    That's great! You look so thrilled ;-) My husband and I did not want a large wedding either - I also was not so much into dresses. We decided to get married in Hawaii - we were going to elope. But then I knew my mother would be upset, so I told her, and immediately she and my step-father were coming with, which was fine with me! Then we figured we had to tell the other parents, too . . . so my in-laws came, along with one of my brothers-in-law. My dad and step-mom-to-be came, along with my two soon-to-be step-sisters. And the list grew and grew - we ended up with 30 people at our wedding - in HAWAII! It was awesome . . . laid back . . . beautiful . . . fun. Really, what better reason to go to Hawaii in February (we lived in MN) than a wedding :-)

  2. What a great picture and memory! :)

  3. I loved this story and the picture of you and your hubby is priceless. Beautiful cake too!

    Look at it this way: Mothers can't be alive without them. Really! :-)

  4. You two look thrilled! LOL!

    I'm with you on the 'girly' stuff... I think it bothers G sometimes. He would love to buy me jewelry, but when he mentions it I always say "If you want to spend $200 on me... buy me a #### for my computer/camera" Poor guy!

  5. That picture is priceless! Really cute of both of you! Your mother sure knew how to make a cake, that thing is beautiful! Do you realize what it would cost these days to have a cake like that? Probably about $500.00!! I didn't have a big wedding either but did have a couple of bridesmaids and all, I MUST get a new scanner so that I can post some of those gems and you all can get a good chuckle!

  6. oh my Donna, this photo is priceless! the looks on your faces, Im still giggling.....

    The more I read here, the more I like you, your REAL.

    Why anyone would go into debt to buy a ring is crazy! My wedding rings are inherited, I love them.

  7. Anonymous11:54 AM


  8. Donna that has to be one of the most beautiful cakes I have ever seen.
    the comment about $500 missed. That cake today would cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $1000.

  9. Anonymous3:54 PM

    Oh gosh! If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were my siste back then. My mother used to bake wedding cakes too ... and like your mother, she had to make a cake for my sister ... and my brother and his friends ate the top layer the night before the wedding. It wasn't on top of the bottom two layers yet and they thought it was just extra! My mother had the patience of a saint and but how they lived to tell the tale, I never know!

  10. Anonymous5:28 PM

    Wow that's a nice cake she made! She was a very talented lady! You guys look like babies in this picture. Great picture!

  11. The Wedding Cake: $1000
    Cliff's reaction: Priceless!


    I am just cracking up here....Thanks!

  12. I swear, Donna, I feel so much the same as you on so many things, it's uncanny.
    (Except I got a rock for my finger, mostly because A. it's my birthstone and B. it was on sale. Heh.)

  13. I didn't like girly stuff so much either as a youngster, but I now have a fetish for shoes. It all started when my husband (waaayyyy back was a manager for Nine West, and he would get shoes that well, he couldn't wear).

    Then, you know, the feet don't normally put on as much weight as the rest of you does, so now that's how I explain my shoe fetish. I mostly window shop and take pictures of shoes that I would like to have, then find cheapies on sale at marshalls.

  14. By the way, in your current photos you look much younger than in your "mock wedding photo"!!

    Our wedding was casual, but I was looking forward to the big party. My husband planned 99% of it (I picked out my dress and got my hair done). We had mostly our younger friends there, and then close family only. It was buffet style with mostly appetizers, but we had two main entrees that were killer plus a fruit tree with chocolate ganashe!!

    I have never been about the formal weddings. Even our vows were simple, and that part was over fast!! Afterwards, we all strippped down and went into the pool (in the evening after the older guests went home).

    Good times.

  15. Anonymous5:01 PM

    I'm laughing too! Sorry....

    No, I'm not sorry. Thanks for making me laugh just before my bedtime X


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