Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I don't go to church much any more (Part 2)

I didn't set out to make this all about me, but after all, I can only speak for myself.  
I don't drive.  I never have.  End of story.  Cliff is a good person, a better moral person than I am, honestly.  He overlooks faults in others that I tend to harp on.  He's happy to help someone out who's in a pinch.  
He's not really big, though, on going to church.  He is a believer, but church has always bored him.  If I had nagged and whined, he would have taken me, but as he used to tell me, "I just have two days off work every week, and it's the only time I have to get things done around here."    
He's retired now, and would be content to take me to the church of my choice every Sunday.  He might doze off a time or two, but he wouldn't complain.  So why haven't we gone to church lately?  
It's me, plain and simple.  I have gotten in the habit of not going.  It's easier to stay home in my pajamas.  

The clothes thing used to be a problem with me; you were expected to dress up for church, and I hate dressing up.  That's all changed, though, at least in most of the churches I've been to lately.  
I'm a much better person when I go to church regularly.  I guess I need to be reminded once in awhile not to gossip and complain, and to watch what I say, because the less I go to church, the more gossiping and complaining and fault-finding I do.  It helps to have a group of people to whom you are accountable.  It's also nice to have some people in your life who know you and care about you, who might actually send a card if you are in the hospital.       

A while back Cliff and I visited a couple of local churches.  We saw familiar faces in both of them, and everybody was happy to have us there.  Friendly folks indeed.  The services weren't long and drawn-out; the hymns were ones we knew.  
I don't know why we haven't been back to either of them!  They did everything right and nothing wrong.  These days it's just so easy to let things slide.  

My daughter has something to say on this subject, so I'll now give you her views:

I’ve been asked by a few people about why we don’t go to church.  I don’t want to be bored by a church, and many can tend to bore me.  The ones that are fun and exciting are 1) too far away, and 2) start hounding us within 3 visits to work some committee.  I don’t want to leave it all to others, but each time I feel like I’m starting to enjoy church again, someone tells me that it's our turn to work the nursery for a month.  What?  I don’t even HAVE a kid in the nursery.
I enjoy working with kids that age, but at my pace, OK?  I know how it works:  A kid shows a fever, or poops all over their clothes, and we punch in the number so it’s shown over the “stage” for all to see.  Does that parent show up?  Nope.  You keep the infectious kid among the other kids until the service is over, the visiting is done, and most of the parking lot has emptied.
I also adore my weekends.  I work long hours during the week and then have two days off.  They seem so short.  I want to see my parents, haul my girls to different destinations, clean my house, and watch mindless TV.  (NASCAR, anyone?)  I know it sounds petty, but the weekends are so short.
I tell God (several times a week) that I am appreciative of what I have.  I thank him for my family, my friends, and the jobs that my husband and I hold.  I even tell him that I’m sorry I don’t go to church often enough.  He seems to understand.  

Do you have something to say on the subject?  Feel free to use my blog as a sounding board, and remain anonymous or not, it's your choice.  Just be nice.  Be sure and check the comments left on these entries, because people have some things to say there, too.


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Going to church is a habit. I've always gone and the Sunday's I miss just don't seem like Sunday. I took a day off last week because of the snow and regretted that I'd stayed at home. But driving on snow covered roads is something I no longer want to do. When I was little my parents always made sure we went to church, they'd drop us off and pick us up but didn't attend themselves. I went on my own when I got older and have always gone. Not only are Sundays my day of rest and relaxation...R and R...they are they day I get an hour at church that makes me feel refreshed and renewed. Just my thoughts on the subject. I know everyone has their reasons for what they do or don't do.

Paula said...

The last church we went to was 800 to 1,000 people. The church we go to now is 10 to 15 people. What a difference. This one is like a family. People know you and miss you when you're not there. Nice subject you got going here.

Adirondackcountrygal said...

I belong to a church but find that it can be a bit boring, there seems to be a clique going on there etc.. its not a very big church so everyone knows everyone else. They were supportive of me while I was sick and I appreciate that. I have gotten into the habit of sleeping in late and miss going.

nroden said...

I sometimes feel like some people, especially in larger cities than where you are Donna, treat church just like another stop for consumption. You go to Walmart, McDonalds, and you go to church.
To me, church is base community.

krueth said...

I also enjoy going to Church and when I miss a Sunday whether due to work or sickness, I feel like my week hasn't been started off the way I like it to. However, I do not put anyone down who does not go to Church. Each person is responsible only to themselves or there family. We are like a family in our Church. Wendy

Nerves05 ( Nancy) said...

I dont' go to church. I should go. I used to go when i was younger and loved it. I pray, i read the bible. Of course one on my favorite churchs is on TV every sunday morning. It's a local , well the next big town over church so i listen to him on TV when i can and he comes on over the radio every morning on the way to work. So i get my dose of the Holy ghost every day. But there is nothing like fellowship with other church goers. But i'm kind of like Rachel. The weekends are so short and i have so much to do. It's tough to get up, get dressed spend part of my day away from the house when i'm away all week as it is at work. I want my 2 days off to do what ever i want that includes sleeping in if i want since i'm not a morning person anyway. That is another reason why i lean towards staying home on sundays. But I'm a believer..

nerves05 (nancy) said...

And my hubby is not really a church goer either.

Jon said...

I don't go to church anymore mainly because I'm beyond redemption. I don't need a sermon - - I need an exorcist.

Margaret said...

I love Jon's comment. I consider myself more spiritual than religious and don't care for some of the attitudes and behaviors I see in church-going folk. Intolerance and disrespect for differing views, unkindness, cliques--who was it who said that he liked our Christ but not our Christians? Too many don't walk the talk!I should focus on the ones who do, but it seems like the hypocrites are louder than the ones who just go about doing the right things. Unfortunately.

Kathy said...

Are you sure your daughter wrote this, because it sounds exactly like something I would write/say. Fits me to a "T" . I believe that we can believe in God, talk to God, live our life for God all without going to church. Although I do admit that I like the feel of "community" a church brings.


I agree with Margaret. Too much intolerance and disrespect for differing views, unkindness and cliques that are anything but Christian.