Tuesday, June 06, 2023

My husband, Mr. Fixit

Cliff and I have been sitting here on the couch arguing.  Yes, arguing.  I was happily telling him all about my garden, explaining why I water some things with a plastic watering can, some with a soaker hose, some with a wand on the hose, and some with the new one the grandson gave me for Mother's Day.  

I wasn't complaining, but simply telling why I used various tactics for different things.  And he says, "Why don't you just move the waterer Arick gave you where you need it?"

I don't want to move it around.  I don't even enjoy moving soaker hoses, which is why I like my new waterer; I don't have to move the soaker hose to so many places.  Right now, where that thing is sitting, it is where it will do the most good.  I know the tomatoes are getting plenty of water, and tomatoes are the most important thing in my garden.

He didn't like my answer, and kept saying, "But you can move it where it needs to be any time.  It isn't hard."

Here's just one example of why it isn't so simple.  I have Daylilies, Irises, and Gladiolus along the south-facing fence in my garden, which means they are standing in a straight line.  If I set up the waterer Cliff wants me to move, it would be watering the yard more than anything else, and wasting water.  

We have a never ending source of water to our well, unless the Missouri River runs dry someday.  With global warming like it is, that might happen, but not in my lifetime.  So I don't worry about wasting water, but I do not want to wear out a pump that would have to be replaced.  Soaker hoses waste no water, and put all the water that comes through them exactly where it needs to be...  on the roots of the plants.  You don't have to have the water running at full force, either.  

Cliff tends to think I need some help or solution when I'm really just relating what's happening.  My daughter and I have talked about this in the past, and she says her husband is the same way.  "Men just want to fix whatever is bothering us," she said.  "And there are some things nobody can do anything to change."

This is where my husband would say, "Yeah, like my hard-headed wife."

Well of course I know he means well, but he was talking as if I wanted him to do something, and I didn't.  I love every step I take in the garden, and I like doing things my way.  I told him that he should do a garden of his own so he could do it however he wants.  Oops, shouldn't have said that.

After our little conflict was over, I told him I was ready for him to mow the strawberry patch whenever he felt like it.  "Oh no you don't," he said.  "I'm not touching your garden."

But he said it with a smile, then mowed the strawberry patch.

Truthfully, he and I have had more arguments over my gardening than any other topic I can think of, and it's always because he thinks he could do it better.  If we ever divorce (after fifty-seven years), you can bet that garden had something to do with it.


  1. My husband is the same. I am just talking about something and he thinks I am complaining or wanting him to fix it or do it. Sometimes it's just an idea to share. I guess it is a man thing.

  2. I've got a bit of Cliff in me as well. I'll raise a stink about something my wife wants me to do but after awhile, will generally do it anyway.

  3. John is very tactful about what he suggests, possibly because we're not married. He is usually correct in his suggestions but knows I have the right to do things in my own quirky ways. Patt learned to ask me if I wanted advice before dispensing it. :) Otherwise, he would be guaranteed an argument and he was a non-confrontational type.

  4. I think men are hard-wired to quickly find solutions to a problem...whether it's theirs or it belongs to someone else.

  5. If you go to court, the header photo is pretty good evidence that you're doing something right! Linda in Kansas

  6. Anonymous7:14 PM

    My Bob didn't do that. I am so opinionated he could never change my mind. And I am Margie from Margie's Musings...not Anonymous!


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