Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Cliff and I are separating

Now that I have your attention... 

My husband and I both get up several times a night, me more so than him.  I noticed recently that we were often awake at the same times, and wondered if maybe when one of us got out of the bed, it woke the other; I asked him whether he thought we'd sleep better in separate bedrooms.  He said, "Try it and see."  

There was a time my snoring bothered Cliff, but he's too deaf to hear it now.

I should mention that because of my trouble sleeping (and maybe my snoring, too), he once wanted to go sleep in the guest room himself;  I just didn't feel like that was right.  A married couple should sleep together!  Besides, I told him, I'd be washing twice as much bedding.  And that was that.

Well, this time it was my idea, and I do believe it's going to work.  The guest bedroom, now MY bedroom, is tiny, though.  We've always had a queen-sized bed in there because that's what we had when we first moved over here.  Yesterday I looked on Craigslist for a twin bed and found one twenty-five miles away: a brand new, never-used mattress, box springs (or whatever they call them now, with no springs in them), and a bed frame for a very reasonable price.  We bought them.  

I made do with the twin bed last night by using big sheets folded in half, but I ordered twin-bed flannel sheets from Amazon yesterday evening and they have already arrived.  Tomorrow the mattress pad will be here.

I had slept in the queen bed in that room for two nights and slept pretty well.  Gabe has always slept in a big-dog kennel near my side of the bed before, but that kennel would take up too much room in my new quarters.  I let him sleep on top of the covers with me; part of the time, though, he got down and went under the bed to sleep, then he'd get back on the bed.  Now that I have the twin bed, there really isn't room for him, so I got the small pet taxi out of the garage today.  He can sleep in that beside my bed.  It's not so big, and I can put it in the closet during the day.  He thinks he's walking in tall cotton, sleeping with me.

I told Cliff not to be surprised if he wakes up one cold winter night and finds me beside him, though.  I may need the benefits of his body heat.  And I still crawl in beside him when I'm waking him up every morning, screaming in his good ear to make conversation... because, you know, he can't wear hearing aids in bed.

The only person who has used the spare bedroom in the last few years is our son when he makes his annual visit, and I'm not sure he will like the twin bed.  However, his son lives next door in the old house and has three bedrooms upstairs, so it isn't like he'll be forced to use my little bed if he doesn't want to.

The grandson doesn't think this experiment will last.  If it doesn't, it's no big deal, but so far, so good.


12 comments:

  1. Yep! You both will get a much better night's sleep this way. Hubby and I haven't slept together for many years and it's the best decision we ever made. He snores and I toss-and-turn... we "separated" on that basis. :-D Enjoy!!! ~Andrea xoxo

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  2. I heard a report on NPR just a few days ago and something like 25% of all couples sleep in separate rooms. But the gist of the NPR story was about the problems that causes. I won't go into those because I know it doesn't pertain to everyone and we must do what is right for us.

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    1. We've been through a lot of stuff in our 55 years together; I don't see this hurting our relationship. We've changing in a lot of ways as we get ever closer to 80 years old. The first night we slept apart I was almost asleep when I thought, What if he wakes up and needs help, maybe can't breath with his asthma? What if he starts having heart pains? He's in the other end of the trailer house!
      Next morning I told him I was going to buy a cowbell for him to ring if he needs me.

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  3. Whatever works--for how ever long you feel like doing it! Could be forever, sometimes or infrequently. I think it's great to have options.

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  4. We tend to sleep apart after a bad night of snoring, or restless legs, then try it together again for as long as it works...until it doesn't again. Great to have options, like Margaret said.

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  5. Good for you for figuring out what works best!

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  6. Hey, as long as you have visiting privileges, it should work.

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  7. Get a baby monitor for your bedrooms.

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  8. That old country song: "Sleeping double in a single bed." Comes to mind. Let's call it a "trial separation." That way you both have an out.

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    1. It's working pretty well for both of us. Surprisingly, Cliff didn't get up once last night, he tells me. The bed was still made except for the part he slept on, both last night and the night before; even the pillow on "my side" was still covered in the morning. Apparently, it was my getting up so many times that woke him, which is what I thought all the time.

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  9. Before Larry passed, we did this. I guess about 2 or 3 years. We woke each other up all night. It helped us both sleep better.

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