Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Just rambling, as usual

Seven or eight years ago (long before Cliff had heart surgery), I used to tell people that if Cliff left me a widow, I'd move to senior citizen's housing in Colorado Springs and live the rest of my life there.  Cliff's youngest sister couldn't believe I'd consider moving away from everybody like that, and I think she even worried about it sometimes.  I was dead serious about the plan.
At some point during the past few years, that idea has become unrealistic to me.  I'm too tired to even think about heading to Colorado.  I don't drive, so the chances of my taking daily walks in the Garden of the Gods are not good.  
As we took our walk yesterday, I told Cliff about my change in plans.  
"Probably," I told him, "I'd move to the apartments where my mom lived before she went to the nursing home.  There's a Walmart and a senior center close by, and my doctor's office is there."  
"You could have quite a good auction sale, if it's set up right," Cliff said.  "before you sell the place.  There's a lot of valuable stuff in my shop, not to mention all the tractors."  
That's when it struck me:  I couldn't live in the apartments where Mother lived; you can only have $2,000 to your name to live there.  I'd have proceeds from selling the place and proceeds from this huge auction Cliff is so worried about.  
"Oh, I know!  I'll live in a house like the one Helen rents (she's an aging former co-worker of Cliff's).  It's designed for seniors, and people come and pick her up and take her to the senior center every day.  So that's settled.  Now, what are you going to do if I die first?"  
"I don't think that's going to happen."  
"You don't know; I might be eaten up with cancer right now, or I might drop dead from a heart attack tomorrow."
"Well then," he said, "I guess I'd stay right here and play with my tractors as long as I'm able."  
I never thought I'd see the day I'd be having conversations like that with my husband.  
While we were walking and talking, we got a strong whiff of skunk odor.  
"That means spring is coming," I told Cliff.  "A biker friend on Facebook said skunk odor is a sure sign of spring!"   
You'd never know it today, though, with these single-digit temperatures.


ingasmile said...

Donna, those conversations are good to have. We all won't be around forever so it is good to have a plan.

We smelled skunk yesterday and I sure hope that biker person is right meaning spring is on the way!!

Sugar said...

email me with more info on those apts, please. thanks. { }

Hollie said...

Well at least you both have a plan, but I hope you don't have worry about them for a very, very, very long time!

Ms Martyr said...

I haven't thought about where I'd want to live if a widow but I do know that when I die I want to be cremated with my ashes placed in a big fireworks display and shot into the air. Didn't even know this was a possibility until we saw it on Dirty Jobs when Mike Rowe was making fireworks. Going out with a bang, that's me!

Anonymous said...

LOL...while I do believe it is good to voice things like that with your spouse and even IS just talking...cause we never know the time or day when we will be for now I am going to have a good laugh over today's blog..and wish you and Cliff many many many more good years of "gentleman/lady" farming...tractor tinkering and looking...and wondering what cows are eating...and well just anything that catches your fancy...LOLOL...God Bless...hugs Ora

Hyperblogal said...

I would stay as long as you can right where you are. There's nothing you will need done that can't be handled by family and friends.

Donna said...

Dave, if it's just me, I won't be staying here. I don't drive and I don't intend to have people waiting on me after working all day. Now Cliff is another story; but an elderly lady couldn't keep up with all the pasture-mowing and yard-mowing and fence-mending... you get the idea, right? It really wouldn't even be a choice for me. Now as long as I have my sidekick around, believe me we'll stay here as long as humanly possible.

Becky said...

When my husband's grandmother reached the point where she could no longer live on her own, she moved in with her daughter (my MIL) temporarily and sold off her home in FL. Anything that didn't sell in yardsales and estate sales, she gave away to friends and family. We personally got a truck full of furniture for our new home. She then took all her cash and gave most of it away to her grandkids and her daughter. We used her living bequest to fund additional renovations on our new home. She said she wanted to SEE her family enjoy the fruits of her lifetime of labor. Then she was able to move into a nice old folks home that had income qualifications. She wasn't rich. But she had a little too much money before she gave it away and the old folks home would have taken most of it. She was a practical lady and I was really impressed with how she took care of everything. Living will. Burial plans all typed out. Right down to what she wanted to wear. We visited her often in the home - Tyler remembers her well. She was such an active and vibrant lady, even being confined to a wheelchair. She had her crafts, bridge games, religious TV and radio shows...she kept very busy and made some great friends in the home. She never let old age get the best of her. She made such an impact on me. I hope to have even a fraction of the enjoyment in life she had in her last years.