Me: "Hey, Cliff, I'm going to be getting a $250 stimulus check!"
Cliff: "You are? Great, then we'll split it between us like we did the last rebate check."
Me: "No, you get yours at the rate of $7 or $8 a week; so every week when we go get your weekly spending money, we'll make out the check for $8 more."
Cliff: "How come you get a check?"
Me: "Because I'm drawing Social Security; everyone on Social Security gets a check."
Cliff: "That isn't fair! I want a check!"
Me: "Talk to Mr. Obama. You're the one who voted for him."