These are trying times, but books sustain me

It took me three or four days to admit it, but yesterday I realized I was suffering from depression.  Not the deep, dark, dangerous kind of depression, but the kind that happens when a somewhat self-centered, spoiled person realizes times won't be normal again for a long while, and she can't safely do the things she likes to do... like escape on a trip to, say, Colorado.  

Cliff and I aren't totally sequestered, as my readers are well aware.  We're doing our own shopping (wearing masks), we interact face to face with our relatives and friends and yes, we hug the babies.  No virus has touched us as far as I know.  I'm not bragging, because I know there is that possibility.  But I'm thankful we've survived thus far, and often think of people like my sister who have actually been on genuine lockdown since March.  She's a widow in her 90's, with nobody living in her house with her.  Her children and grandchildren visit her outside, with masks on and/or over six feet away; and they shop for her.  But I have my husband here to talk to if I want to say something, and she is alone at home.  So I think about Maxine a lot, and pray for her often.  One thing about it, her family members in the Oklahoma City area are the most thoughtful, caring people you'd ever meet.  I know they are doing everything in their power to help and encourage her.  

But I digress:  Once I admitted to myself I was depressed, I began to think about solutions.  Cliff and I talked about Colorado, but it's one of the hardest-hit states by the virus.  It's about twelve hours from here to Colorado Springs, which means we'd be using public rest rooms on the trip, as well as after we arrived.  We'd have to stay in hotels, and we have enough concern about bedbugs in hotels, without adding Covid-19 to our worries!  Many of the spots popular with tourists are closed, too, which takes the fun out of things.  In fact, we can't think of any safe road trips; we are planning a trip to Georgia to visit our son and his family in October, although Georgia is another hotbed of Covid.  But our son lives out of town now, so we'd only be interacting with family.  

So, once I admitted to myself that I was depressed, it didn't take long to realize I had a way out of all this mess.  I can travel while sitting in my most comfortable chair, and it costs me nothing:  I have books to read, libraries full of books at my fingertips!  This should be no big surprise to anyone, because I always have a book available on the iPad.  But I've not been taking full advantage of this wealth:  I've let myself spend time playing silly games or scrolling Facebook (which is depressing on its own) rather than reading.  I may not get much else done today, but I have pledged to read like I used to, before the Internet.  I finished "Ava's Man", and would rate it at four stars out of five.  Then I went directly to another library book suggested by my Arkansas friend.

So today I've traveled to Arkansas in the 1970's living the life of a pre-teen girl, quite an interesting trip so far.  I'm forced to read a genuine book rather that an e-book, since that's the only format the library had this in.  At least the print is large enough to read comfortably, and if I use a clothespin to hold it open, I can lay it down in my lap instead of having to hold it;  my wrists have arthritis, so long periods of holding a physical book can be painful.  The fact it's a paperback helps a lot.  

I happened to recall this morning that Spencer Quinn was going to release a new Chet and Bernie book in July, so I looked it up on Amazon to get the title, Of Mutts and Men, then put it on hold at the library.  Other books waiting in the wings at the library are American Dirt, Normal People, and Too Much, Never Enough.  I also have one waiting on my shelf in the Libby app, The Silent Patient; but it's a psychological thriller, so if it scares me too much, I may not make it through that one.   

So I'm going to post this entry and get back to Gracie Lee.  

Thank God I have free access to any book I want to read without ever leaving home.