Million Dollar Car: a song

Many years ago, I rode to church with my friend Carol:  We watched babies in the nursery together during Sunday School.  We went to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night.  To non-church-goers, that may sound boring, but this was a Pentecostal church, and it was seldom boring; the singing was good, too; that New Life choir was amazing.  

Carol and l met when a neighbor steered me toward her as a possible ride to work at my new job in Lexington.  We went many places together over the years, and usually stopped by McDonald's on the way home to get an ice cream cone.

My daughter's boy friend at the time had an older car for sale for $500, and Cliff decided to buy it to drive to work, rather than put all those miles on his gas-guzzling pickup.  He tried it out, and it seemed to run just fine.  The following Sunday, when Carol came to pick me up, I nodded toward it and said, "Look, that's our $500 car."

Two weeks later as I got in her car on Sunday, I said, "Well, now we have a $1,500 car; the motor blew up."

Two more weeks later, I said, "Well, now it's an $1,800 car.  The transmission quit."

It seemed like every Sunday, I had more damage to report.  Finally one day, as I was getting in the car, she said, "Well, Donna... how's your million dollar car?"

So Carol is responsible for this song being written; if she hadn't said that, I'd never have thought of writing a song about it; but now I had a perfect title.  

I like to include the lyrics because I never know how clear the words will be, what with me beating the guitar to death like I do.  Lyrics are below the video.  

MILLION DOLLAR CAR

Donna Wood

We bought a car from a friend of ours, an old blue Oldsmobile.

It didn't cost a heck of a lot, and we thought we'd found a deal.

I should have known, the second day, our future would be bleak

When it rained, and with the sun-roof closed, the roof began to leak.

My husband fixed that problem and my hopes began to rise.

She purred just like a kitten.  Why, we thought we had a prize!

And then one night, coming home from work, old Cliff got in a race,

And the engine blew, and he came home with grief wrote on his face.

    When we get one thing working, something else is bound to break.

    I don't know how much more of this our bank account can take.

    Don't count on her to take you if you're going very far;

    We've really learned a lesson from our million dollar car.

We figured maybe this was just a small streak of bad luck,

So we bought a rebuilt motor (for another thousand bucks).

Cliff's brother came to help him, and they put that engine in,

And before you know it, that old car was on the road again.

With all that money in her, why she ran just like a pup,

Until, two short weeks later, her transmission gave it up.

Cliff towed her out to Kansas to his brother's house, this time,

Three hundred dollars later, that old Cutlass ran just fine.

    When you drive her down the highway, though, the left brake seems to grab.

    I think we'd travel cheaper if we learned to call a cab.

    If she's just run for two days straight, I'd thank my lucky stars:

    We sure have learned some lessons from our million dollar car.

We've fed her enough freon to cool off an entire town,

Yet, every time it's hot, the air conditioner's broke down.

She still has rotten hoses and a leaky radiator,

And every time I see that car, I think how much I hate her.

Two hubcaps self-destructed; her new engine has a rattle:

Christine lives on, and I believe she's almost won the battle!

My ulcer's started acting up, and Cliff's not "up to par".

I think she'll be the death of us, this million dollar car.

    We could have bought a new car for the money this one's cost.

    Now all those bucks we spent on her are down the drain and lost.

    Now I just sit home busted as I strum my old guitar,

    And make up silly songs about my million dollar car...

    Oh, life's a big adventure with our million dollar car!