In case you didn't see the entry, it's HERE.
Folks, I had no idea how many unkind things I say about people all the time, even people I like! Even people I don't know at all!
It started when I took Cliff his coffee, while he was still in bed. We struck up a conversation; I hadn't said fifty words before I was dissing somebody (not a person I dislike, either) for doing something I don't approve of. I had already made my observation when I realized what I was doing and told Cliff, "I'm not supposed to be talking negatively about anybody today."
He said something on the order of "Good luck with that."
Later as we pulled out of the driveway to go for groceries, I got halfway through a snide remark about a neighbor when I stopped myself, yelling "Nooooo, I didn't mean it. God bless them all!"
Going through our little town, we met a familiar pickup that has a bug shield with the words "Wild Bill" written on it. This guy has probably lived in this area longer than we have, but we've never met him. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I made this remark: "Old Wild Bill really keeps the roads hot, doesn't he? He must not know there's a fuel shortage."
Then it hit me that the words had negative implications, and I said, "I guess we must use the roads as much as he does; we're always in our car when we see him."
It was like this the whole day. I could give you an hour of examples, but you get the picture.
The last incident of the day was this: We were watching a piece about Charlie Sheen on 20/20 on the DVR and I made some sarcastic observation. Now folks, I realize it shouldn't be a big deal to have a bad opinion of Charlie. Anything I say about him isn't going to hurt him at all. But it reinforces the holier-than-thou habit, and I need to at least regulate it.
So, don't expect me to be perfect from here on out, but I do intend to clean up some of the negativity in my speaking. I need to let Charlie Sheen be who he wants to be; I need to let my neighbors live their lives, and I'll live mine. Now, there are a few things about the neighbors that directly affect me, but I need to deal with those things without being on a constant rant about them.
Maybe if I'd just remember to pray for them instead, if nothing more than a "God bless them". I might adopt the southern belle habit of substituting the words "bless her heart" for "I can't stand her."
Do ya think?
Meanwhile, Cliff is having a lot of laughs watching me choke on my own words multiple times daily. He's loving it.
I once had a combined class I taught (4-6th grade) keep a little tally sheet on the corner of their desk. On one side it said "Life" and the other side "Death". I was trying to teach them the Biblical principle about the power of words and wanted them to see how much negativity they used on any given day. And yes... they had a little section reserved solely for me. It was a good experience for all of us.
ReplyDeleteThose same kids are now in their late teens/early 20s. I spoke at their graduation a few years back and they still remembered that little experiment. They would tease each other if another was grumbling... "speak Life" they would say. "mrs. L is listening".
Your entry just made me think of those days. Thanks for sharing about your Day of Peace.
This is a lesson I've been trying to do better at myself! Way to go. I think when we realize what we do, it's half the problem whipped.
ReplyDeleteYou are a better person that I am. I thought about it a few times at work, but since I was at work, the negativity flooded out anything positive. I need to give it another try on my day off, maybe. I might have more luck then.
ReplyDeleteI would have trouble with this too and my husband would also enjoy my faux pas. The problem is that people can be wonderful, but also annoying. I always try to say positives too. I'm just as harsh on myself.
ReplyDeleteSometimes its very hard to not judge other people. It's also hard not to judge ourselves too. You are only human and we all have those days. The nice thing is that you even took the time to try and change it. I hope your Saturday is a great one!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to teach my son that, "If you don't have something nice or positive to say, then say nothing at all". Oh how I know I should practice what I preech at times as well. It's a work in progress. Have a wonderful Today!
ReplyDeleteI would have had a terrible time trying not to say something snotty. It's a habit I would love to break. Practice makes perfect, I hear so maybe I should take that advice. I admire you for taking on the task. Have a wonderful weekend.
ReplyDeleteI tried it and I was speechless.
ReplyDeleteHumm, I find myself doing that same thing. Probably more than I realize.
ReplyDeleteHelen
I think we all do this before we even realize it....no mean intent though. I bet Cliff is enjoying this! LOL
ReplyDeleteTrying is all you can do. Some days will be better than others. But don't change who you are on a whim or you set yourself up for a bigger disappointment.
ReplyDeleteI son't think of you aa being unkind.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll give this a try! I've been told I'm a negative person. I don't feel negative, but maybe my comments are. Great post!
ReplyDeleteYeah, good luck with that!
ReplyDeleteOkay really, good luck with that. I need to do the same thing. But it's amazing, I think I might have just found the other perfect human in the Midwest.
I just read on down. Congrats on no polyps or 'plops' as I prefer to call them.
ReplyDeleteYeah it's amazing that a product that doesn't really taste like anything bad can be so hard to finish off.
I think all of us have that problem. I need to regulate some of my negative thinking and speaking too.
ReplyDelete