Things Cliff and I talk about

I've often told folks that Cliff and I have our best laughs while we're in bed, which generally elicits laughter from the people I'm talking to at the time.  Get your mind out of the gutter, people!  While some of our bedroom conversations get a little on the risqué side, most of them aren't X-rated.

A few months ago I got to thinking how we used to have those fun little talks, and realized these days we really don't have the opportunity to do that:  I go to bed at nine, usually, and get up around 3 o'clock.  Cliff comes to bed at 10:30 or later.  We do have plenty of good, funny conversations throughout the day, but not like our bedroom talks.  Cliff can find humor in any situation, and having been under his tutelage for so many years, I've gotten pretty good at it myself.  Please understand, I can't quite say the same things to others that I do to Cliff, because others might take offense.  

I have enough problem with saying inappropriate things at the wrong time without adding fuel to the fire.  

Anyway, I finally decided we are not on a schedule around here.  For years I have been waking Cliff at 7 AM, per his request; arthritis starts hurting him pretty bad if he lays in bed too long.  But in my morning thoughts back in January, it struck me how much I missed our bedroom talks, along with the leisurely snuggling, and decided to crawl in bed with him to wake him up every day.  He is terribly deaf, and this is made worse on days when tinnitus is roaring in his head; but if the arthritis in his right shoulder isn't too terrible, and he turns his head so his right ear isn't against the pillow, and I talk loudly (that comes naturally for me), we can converse without his hearing aids in place.

Even with all those "ifs", I feel somewhat younger laying there talking like we did back in the olden days, with no reason to get up until we're good and ready.

I believe we've almost honed our morning comedy routine enough that we're ready to go on the road with our act, if they'll let us bring our bed.  Here are random things we had opinions about this morning.

The TV was playing as we lay there; I saw Quinton Lucas, the wonderful mayor of Kansas City, talking about which businesses in town could open up and what ones couldn't (bars, for one thing, can't open yet).  "Cliff," I told him, "if that man isn't president 20 years from now, I would be very surprised."  (Not that I'll be living to see it.)

Cliff agreed the mayor seems very amiable and intelligent.  You folks google him and you'll see what I mean.  Well, all except for my friends who never vote Democrat; and I do understand and share your feelings about abortion.  I'd still vote for him, though, if he turned out to be as good a person as he seems.  I know, nobody's perfect.  *sigh*

About that time, the weather lady came on TV.  I lifted my head off the pillow to look, and said, "Good grief, the weather lady looks like maybe her dress was showing too much of her shoulders so some man gave her his suit jacket!"  

Cliff lifted his head up to look and said, "Yeah, and her hair looks like she just crawled out of the back seat of a Plymouth, and she's wearing a house-dress."

Later I mentioned the fact that Patrick Mahomes is going to stay in Kansas City for at least 5 more years.  "Well," he mused, "he'll be OK if he doesn't beat his wife."  I submitted that Patrick seems like too a nice a person for that, intelligent and kind.  But after thinking about it, I said, "He did get awfully drunk at the celebration parade this year, so who knows what someone will do when he's drunk." 

That somehow led us to O.J. Simpson and how everybody knew he did it, but he got by with it.  Cliff said, "Yeah, but you know, the glove didn't fit; that's why he got off."  So I went through the motions of a person grunting and groaning, acting like she is puffing and panting from pulling so hard on that glove that obviously fits.

But I can't tell you what our biggest laughs were, and I mean real belly laughs that lasted for five minutes  We got to talking about Tony, the guy Cliff used to ride to work with before he retired.  Tony has strong opinions on everything, and Cliff said between the two of them they solved all the world's problems going to and from work together... for instance, there would be no child molesters in prison if it were up to them (hint:  using their methods, there wouldn't BE any child molesters).  One time they got into a controversial topic and Tony said the funniest one-liner I've heard in my life.  I can't tell you what it was because (1)  There is a bad word in what he said, and (2) it was a controversial topic.  

But I haven't laughed that hard in years.  

Have a great day, folks.  And if you are old, and you haven't been laying in bed talking to your husband, you might want to try it.  Even if you aren't comedians like me and my husband.