I had a scary thought

Yesterday in my peaceful day at home alone, a strange thought hit me like a bolt of lightning, and here it is:  In less than four years, I'll be 80.  

Several things went through my mind when this thought occurred:  "What am I doing still alive when all my best friends are dead?"  "No wonder I hurt sometimes."  "That's a long time to live."  "My pets will probably outlive me."  

It isn't really scary; it just took me by surprise.  And please don't tell me "You're only as old as you feel."  Because if that's true, I must be 150.  I have so little energy compared to even ten years ago.  I'm always a little tired.  And now that it looks like I might survive to be 80, I'm not sure I want to.  If I feel the same then as I do right now, it'll be OK,  unless I end up with dementia.

I'd like to live my fifties over again:  I could still dive deeper and come up drier than any thirty-year-old, during that decade.  

I'm getting so forgetful.  Since most of the people who read my blog are women, perhaps nobody caught the mistake in yesterday's blog entry.  My son might have, if he read it.  I told about Cliff's journey to buy the part he needed for his tractor project.  The part is called a governor, but four times in that entry, I called it a generator.  I guess I figured it the word started with a "g" and ended with "or", it must be right.  Cliff got home, read the entry, and told me about my mistake.  Of course I fixed it, but little things like that are embarrassing.  These days, if there is any distraction in the kitchen when I'm trying to cook or bake, the chance is about 50/50 that I'll forget an ingredient or use the wrong amount of something.  

Oh well.  We all have to age and eventually die, and my aches and pains are nothing compared to the burdens some folks bear daily.

Cliff did indeed get the part he needed yesterday, and it's on the tractor now.  I took a picture of it, although what you see is the housing of the governor.  That's Cliff's gloved finger showing you the governor.  

Cliff and his sister had plenty of time to visit on their road trip, and they had a wonderful lunch at Paula's Diner in the town of Craig, Missouri, population 248.  Let me show you what Cliff's tenderloin sandwich looked like.

I call that ridiculous, but let me tell you what a great husband I have.  He ate all the meat he could hold that was on the outside of the bun and brought the bun and the rest of the tenderloin home to me.  He is a bread eater; he even told me it was hard to eat just the meat without the bread.  I appreciate his sacrifice; the tenderloin was delicious even cold, but I told him he should have cut off the outside-of-the-bun meat for me, eaten the part with the bun himself, and I could have made my own sandwich with the bread we have here at home.  He didn't think of that, he said.

He's worked on the tractor most of the day.  We'll see if there are any more surprise challenges in this project.

I guess I'll turn on the TV and watch something that will distract me from how old I'm getting.  And yes, I am thankful for every day.  But 80 sounds SO very old.  Now I've probably jinxed myself so that I won't even make it that far.

That's life.  Or death.  It is what it is.

Sweet dreams.

I'm a winner!

 Yes, I won something on the Internet.  One of the blogs I read is Blind Pig and the Acorn. Tipper writes about Appalachia, both past and present.  Her husband and daughters sing country songs sometimes that I enjoy listening to.  They sit around home singing in the kitchen, the way our friends and I did in the 70's.  I feel as if I'm right there with them, and have been known to get my guitar out and sing along with them.

Tipper has many giveaways on her blog, with the prizes often being various books about Appalachia.  The other day she wrote about one of her readers who makes rings out of quarters.  That got my attention, because at some point before I met Cliff, he made such a ring.  He was wearing it when I met him.  After we married, he realized it could be dangerous to wear at work (the butcher shop) as it could get caught on some of the equipment and cause injury.  At least I think that's why he stopped wearing it.  Long story short, after moving a couple of times, the ring was never seen again.  So I really wanted this ring to give to Cliff (and it's just his size)!  It's made from a half-dollar, though, instead of a quarter.  You can read about the ring HERE.

Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Tipper saying I won.  I never expect to win anything, but I go ahead and put my name in the hat.  This time it paid off.  

I'm enjoying a quiet day alone.  Cliff drove a hundred miles north looking for a governor for that junk tractor of his; the governors are almost impossible to find, and many of them are far too expensive to buy for a tractor that isn't worth much.  You can't buy a new one because they don't make them any more; you have to find an old one somewhere and hope it works.  

There's a man at Craig, Missouri, who has helped us out before with Olivers. He has a governor that might work... or might not.  The Oliver corporation switched suppliers quite a bit, so there are different sorts of governors for the same model of tractor.  So Cliff went a hundred miles one way for something that may not even be the right part.  I called a while ago to tell him about some phone calls I've made for him, and to see if his trip paid off, but he had stopped to eat lunch.  He'll call me back when he can. 

I wasn't really eager to go anywhere this morning; I never am, these days.  So Cliff took his sister along.  I'm sure they're having a great visit on the way there and back.  Rena does some of the driving, which is a big plus.  I'm just piddling around here:  I've cooked some turnips for myself.  I've been gifted with about half a bushel of Roma tomatoes, so I made myself some macaroni and tomatoes.  I mashed the over-ripe bananas and put them in the freezer in bags holding one-cup amounts, to use in banana bread later on.  I intend to take a walk with Gabe in the pasture after while, and then maybe I'll do my half-hour on the exercise bike.

I'm so excited to have won that ring!

For a Christmas story that will make you smile, read THIS from Sean of the South.

And that's the way it is at Woodhaven Acres.