This is a followup on the previous entry.
After telling about our idyllic lives on twenty acres (and then six, and then forty-three acres), I need to take the time for a disclaimer: If you ever want to have anything, don't follow our examples.
We never had a dime to put into a savings account. We didn't do "sweat equity" by doing upkeep on a house. We were outdoor people. Who cares if the house is depreciating yearly, as long as we have a place to eat and sleep? Cliff's area of expertise is not in remodeling, and we never had the money to afford to pay someone else to do it. And, as I say, that wasn't on our list of priorities. Live for today!
I only held down jobs for perhaps ten or twelve years altogether of our forty-nine years of marriage, partly because I didn't drive. Everybody asks, "Why didn't you learn to drive?"
Because every time I tried to learn, whoever was trying to teach me either made fun of my efforts or got angry and began cussing my ignorance. That pattern began with a driver's training instructor in high school who derided me in front of the other two students who were in the car with us and ended, I believe, with Cliff's late brother, Warren. Cliff was somewhere in the middle there. I don't take verbal abuse well.
So, how are you going to get a job if you live in the country and don't drive? I wouldn't have worked outside the home when my kids were small anyway, but I probably would have tried once they started school. Who knows? That "should-have, could-have, would-have" cycle really doesn't get you anywhere.
Look around: If a married couple is going to get anyplace in the world today, they both need to have jobs.
Another gigantic thing we did wrong: Credit card debt. It wasn't usually for non-essentials. When we needed new tires and didn't have the money, we used the credit card, that sort of thing. And I will confess that we bought a cow or three using those "checks" credit card folks send you to use. Maybe even a tractor along the line. I don't know. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. We finally kicked that habit about fifteen years ago. We still use a credit card, but we pay it in full each month.
I remember hearing a saying years ago that went sort of like this: If you think your life has no purpose, at least you can be a bad example to others. I know that isn't exactly how it went, but you get my drift.
We were lucky. We were blessed. We made it through, often without any health insurance.
Don't do as we did. But if you should find yourself in that position, be sure to have fun while you're at it. and pay your bills so you can keep your good credit rating.
Friday, August 07, 2015
Being poor
Cliff and I were reminiscing the other day about the early years of our marriage when we were struggling to make a go of things on the twenty acres of rocky soil we called home. My parents, who knew we wanted to become home-owners, found the property for us through some guy they went to church with. There was an old four-room house on the place and a hand-dug well to supply water. The only outbuilding was the shell of a disintegrating shed or barn which we used, I believe, to house one hog before Cliff tore it down.
We had been renting a mobile home on the place in Blue Springs where my parents lived, and had purchased a white-face cow and her first calf from a neighbor by borrowing money from my parents and paying them back five or ten dollars every payday until it was paid for. Now that I think of it, every purchase we made back then that cost over $50 was usually done with payday loans from my parents. We were poor. We always paid them back, it was just a slow process.
Everybody thinks that if you live in the country, have livestock, and garden, you are living more cheaply. That may be true for some people, but it wasn't for us. We quickly learned that once you own a place, you are the one responsible for upkeep. We needed some sort of decent shed or barn, especially after we bought a milk cow from my parents. The fencing on the place was decrepit, and Suzy the cow took great joy in escaping several times weekly. Animals know when they are "out", and Suzy, one of the tamest cows I've ever seen, took great delight in kicking up her heels and running when she saw us approaching with a lead rope so we could lead her back to the pasture.
It takes lots of money to build barns and fences, and we had very little money; Cliff would go to work sick because one day off work would set us back for a month, trying to catch up. Many major purchases were delayed until spring when we would get our income tax refund. One thing we learned about living in the country was that we couldn't be running to the store every other day: Oak Grove, a couple of miles away, had a little grocery store, a hardware store, and a gas station or two, but many purchases required a trip to the city. We soon learned to wait until we had a list and combine those trips.
We were constantly broke, and that's pretty much how we've spent the biggest portion of our lives together. We have more spare cash right now, living on Social Security, than we've ever had in our lives.
As I was going back in my memory to all the struggles we've had, remembering how much joy we got out of our pathetic little lives, it occurred to me that I'm glad we've been poor. I'm glad we know what it's like to do without a lot of things. There are people who have had everything handed to them on a silver platter all their lives who don't know the feeling of accomplishment you get when when that last payment is made on a car, or the thrill, every payday, of getting all the bills paid on time. There is a certain pride in knowing you may not have much money, but you have a good credit rating! And we had a lot of laughs and fun along the way, too.
Almost everyone who came up through the Great Depression knew what it was to be poor. These days, not so many people have had that sort of experience, but Cliff and I remember, even though I realize nothing in our experience compares to the Great Depression. Oh, the stories my mother told me!
I'm glad my life with Cliff has taken all the twists and turns it has. I wouldn't take anything for the hard times we've had, and there have been plenty. As we stroll (limp?) through the twilight of our lives, I know there are bound to be more. But hard times are nothing new to us.
We had been renting a mobile home on the place in Blue Springs where my parents lived, and had purchased a white-face cow and her first calf from a neighbor by borrowing money from my parents and paying them back five or ten dollars every payday until it was paid for. Now that I think of it, every purchase we made back then that cost over $50 was usually done with payday loans from my parents. We were poor. We always paid them back, it was just a slow process.
Everybody thinks that if you live in the country, have livestock, and garden, you are living more cheaply. That may be true for some people, but it wasn't for us. We quickly learned that once you own a place, you are the one responsible for upkeep. We needed some sort of decent shed or barn, especially after we bought a milk cow from my parents. The fencing on the place was decrepit, and Suzy the cow took great joy in escaping several times weekly. Animals know when they are "out", and Suzy, one of the tamest cows I've ever seen, took great delight in kicking up her heels and running when she saw us approaching with a lead rope so we could lead her back to the pasture.
It takes lots of money to build barns and fences, and we had very little money; Cliff would go to work sick because one day off work would set us back for a month, trying to catch up. Many major purchases were delayed until spring when we would get our income tax refund. One thing we learned about living in the country was that we couldn't be running to the store every other day: Oak Grove, a couple of miles away, had a little grocery store, a hardware store, and a gas station or two, but many purchases required a trip to the city. We soon learned to wait until we had a list and combine those trips.
We were constantly broke, and that's pretty much how we've spent the biggest portion of our lives together. We have more spare cash right now, living on Social Security, than we've ever had in our lives.
As I was going back in my memory to all the struggles we've had, remembering how much joy we got out of our pathetic little lives, it occurred to me that I'm glad we've been poor. I'm glad we know what it's like to do without a lot of things. There are people who have had everything handed to them on a silver platter all their lives who don't know the feeling of accomplishment you get when when that last payment is made on a car, or the thrill, every payday, of getting all the bills paid on time. There is a certain pride in knowing you may not have much money, but you have a good credit rating! And we had a lot of laughs and fun along the way, too.
Almost everyone who came up through the Great Depression knew what it was to be poor. These days, not so many people have had that sort of experience, but Cliff and I remember, even though I realize nothing in our experience compares to the Great Depression. Oh, the stories my mother told me!
I'm glad my life with Cliff has taken all the twists and turns it has. I wouldn't take anything for the hard times we've had, and there have been plenty. As we stroll (limp?) through the twilight of our lives, I know there are bound to be more. But hard times are nothing new to us.
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