What to expect as you get older

Not that anybody will pay attention to my warnings, because plenty of older folks warned me and I was too busy enjoying life to pay attention at all; and that's how it should be. Why waste your good years dreading the bad ones?

I don't have what you could call crippling arthritis. My knees are shot, but I refuse to have replacements unless I can't walk. Why? Because I've heard too much about staph infections and blood clots... even from my orthopedist, who also told me that when you have replacements, there's a danger of infection setting in at that site at any time.

If I'm going to take all those risks, I'd better be crippled first.

I can walk with Cliff every day, although I walk slower than I used to, and going down hills hurts. I can walk for hours on a sight-seeing tour of a museum. Standing in one spot, though, as I have to do when I'm cooking a big meal, is mighty painful. I'm learning to sit down to do things I used to stand up to do. I wonder if that's why my grandma used to sit on a tall stool to peel potatoes, roll out dough, and so forth. Did she have bad knees?

I can't kneel without great pain. Of course, even if I had a knee replacement, I'd be told not to kneel. So, Dear Lord, whatever happens, You'll have to listen to me as I'm sitting on my butt.

The most painful thing of all for me is to bend over for long periods, like I have to do when picking beans in the garden, or planting seeds; I don't understand why this hurts my knees so badly, but it does. I plan to sit on an upside-down five-gallon bucket this summer when I'm harvesting my crops. If I have some crops.

Arthritis has invaded my left hand, at the base of my thumb, so now it hurts to chord my guitar. It even hurts to pick up a full glass of tea, and every once in awhile I almost drop my glass when I first pick it up. The pain isn't that extreme, mind you... just enough to remind me that I'll never be young again.

I have this pain in my left buttock that comes and goes (a genuine pain in the a**). Yep, old Arthur likes to spread the pain around.

Years ago, my Uncle Leo told me I was slumping too much, and that if I didn't make an effort to hold my shoulders back and stand up straight, I'd end up hunch-backed like Grandma.

I paid attention and made an effort to correct my bad posture. It worked, until the arthritis pain set in. I've noticed that when there's pain anywhere in one's body, it's hard to stand tall. You can't help giving to the pain. I'm sorry, Uncle Leo. It just hurts too much.

I hope this doesn't sound like a self-pitying rant, because I don't mean it that way. I enjoy life. I thank God for every day He gives me.

I'm just saying that I understand now what my mother, and others, told me back when I was young.

Enjoy your youth. If your body isn't hurting anywhere, thank the good Lord. It may not always be that way.

Pain, however, is better than the alternative. So far.

drugs

As a result of a torn meniscus in my right knee, walking causes me incredible pain right now. Sitting or lying down (as long as I don't try to turn over) I'm fine; walking or squatting, or just the act of getting from a standing to a sitting position or visa versa, hurts like crazy; badly enough that I groan or even yell sometimes. Because of this, I'm not presently doing much in the way of physical activity: no daily walk, no horseback riding. Even getting on the motorcycle is not worth the cost in pain. Lord knows I'm afraid to get on the bathroom scale, since I don't do much more than watch TV and surf the Internet. And I'm incredibly grouchy; can't you tell?

Arthroscopic surgery is scheduled for one week from today, and I have never in my life been so anxious to have a medical procedure done. I had this problem with my left knee, three years ago; the surgery ended the sharp pain at that time. My knees are still bone-on-bone arthritic, but that's a dull pain that I can live with for now.

At my last appointment I asked the orthopedist if I could have something for pain while waiting for surgery, and she wrote out a prescription for Darvocet. While it does take some of the edge off the pain, it surely doesn't dull it much, and it often upsets my stomach. I called the office to see if they had anything else in their bag of tricks. A prescription was called in for Hydrocodone. OK, this helps the pain quite a bit more, makes me a little fuzzy-headed, and.... gives me acid indigestion. And I only allow myself to take two, once a day, because of their reputation for becoming habit-forming.

According to everything I've read on the Internet, both these drugs are popular on the street as "party drugs". I tell you, dear readers, I feel like anything but partying after taking either of them! If two capsules make me feel the way these do, I can't imagine what you'd feel like after taking a handful.

Today I'll be limping into the dentist's office to keep an appointment. How can life get any better? I won't be taking any drugs before I go, because I don't need acid indigestion while I'm reclining in the dentist chair.

Meanwhile, I count the moments until next Thursday. And I pray that the procedure that helped my left knee will be effective on my right one.

Sorry about such a downer of a blog entry; it just happens to be my day to gripe!