When I started telling people I had dementia of some kind or other, I have seen several ways people respond. In the beginning, all the older folks would tell me, "Oh, I forget things all the time; that's just normal."
They don't say that now. I have days when I can't remember many common words, and names of people are almost out of the question. They see it now. Many folks say, "Oh, no!!" when I tell them. Before Cliff took me to Church yesterday, I told him I had better not do much talking to people when I got there, because words weren't coming to me very well; some days are better than others.
One relative said to me, "What a terrible thing to have happen!"
But here at home, I'm in my garden a lot, which is where I love to be. I'm still reading books, although perhaps not as much as I did. I am letting my husband help me out when we go shopping, because I can't be trusted to deal with money. I tried using a credit card to pay for groceries, but last week when we came home, I couldn't find the card I had used to pay for groceries. I still play Wordle, but I don't put it on Facebook any more because I often can't think of any words.
I am, for the most part, just living one day at a time and not worrying about the future. Why should I let the end of my life get me down when I have had almost eighty years of doing whatever I wanted to do? I've had a great run!
I don't want to hurt anyone these days, and if I want to tell someone how much I appreciate them, I do so. I have apologized here and there for things I have said and done. I am now able to talk about Jesus even though others think he's a hoax, while still knowing that their beliefs seem as real to them as mine are to me. I just thank God I am capable of believing.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34
And yes, I am still, in this moment, just glad to be here. I can hardly wait for the green beans from the garden that I'll have in perhaps two weeks. I'm looking forward to baby goats that will be born in late September and early October. I'm hoping against hope that the storm we are supposed to get tomorrow will actually come and soak my poor garden.
Life is still good.
Living for the moment seems a great way to face what you are facing.
ReplyDeleteMy motto has always been to live one day at time. None of us knows what tomorrow might bring so we should enjoy life to fullest as long as we can!. I think you will continue to enjoy being you, you have a good attitude about life.
ReplyDeleteOh Donna, what a beautiful BEAUTIFUL way of looking at your dementia & at life in general. My knees are awful....crippling, actually. I don't leave the house very often and am in pain 24/7. But I do what I do around my house, mainly inside & sometimes outside, and am happy as a clam. I live in the moment each day too & am glad to see another morning dawn. You are an inspiration, my dear. Keep it up! ~Andrea xoxo
ReplyDeleteYour outlook is an inspiration! Enjoy every moment. I have recently had a new diagnosis, alpha gal syndrome…which is a tick transmitted meat allergy. It goes much further than meat though, into any sort of mammal products or by products, medications and any foods that have high histamines….etc. I am just taking it one day at a time, too.
ReplyDeleteMy mom lived with dementia for many years. She was happy and learned to enjoy the little things of life: flowers, family gatherings…everything that gave her joy. Sending you hugs, my friend.
Rebecca in SW MO
I am glad to hear she was happy. Cliff had an aunt who has dementia a long time too, and she always seemed happy even when she didn't know who anybody was. When I remember her, it reminds me that things may not be so bad in the future.
DeleteI'm also more than glad you are here!! You have absolutely single handedly positively changed our entire family 🌳 by investing your time, energy, morals, work ethics, love of music and endless love into a very special little girl who will forever be a confident wonderful person all be of you! Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteWe just always loved her, and still do. She has common sense, and is growing up to be quite a lady.
DeleteI have always loved to read your posts. My husband had dementia. He worked hard to remember what was important to him. You have lived life as you wanted and have joy in the process. Isn’t that what we need? Your stories and songs touch my heart in a very special way. Blessings, Penny
ReplyDeleteWorrying and getting upset and agitated would likely just make things worse, so I think you have the right attitude for your situation. By the time it gets more severe you likely won't realize it and will be content in your own reality. That's been my experience with loved ones who've been in your situation. It's sad for us, but by the time their senility or whatever memory loss ailment they suffer from gets that bad, they are mostly unaware and unconcerned with it. As you said, just do your best to right any wrongs you may think you have and say all you need to say now, while you're able and aware, and make sure all your loved ones know you love them. Stay as close to God as you can and trust him to take care of you for the time you have left. That's a good thing for all of us, no matter our situation in life. Diane@Diane's Place
ReplyDeleteThis comment above was from Carlene Noggle.
ReplyDeleteYour attitude is admirable, Donna. I've always appreciated your positive spin and how you find beauty in the small moments. I'm still so sorry that this is happening to you though. :(
ReplyDeleteOh, I have my sorry little moments, believe it. When there are words I need to say and can't, it is awful.
DeleteI'm so sorry you are falling. That isn't good, because eventually you may have a broken bone. I wish your husband hadn't died so early in his life, because he would be taking good care of you. We just have to do the best we can.
ReplyDeleteI hope Cliff is doing ok. I forget words too. I fret. Your acceptance is the way to be! I’m not very accepting to changes in me or the world. I stopped watching the news. Hope this is a good day for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are quite an inspiration, Donna. You look at things square on, and simply deal with it.
ReplyDeleteDear Donna this is Sandy Spease, I did not know you are dealing with this heavy load,you and Cliff are such good people,Don and I enjoy every time we spent there in the shop with you guys,Don loved talking. loved talking to loved talking to Cliff of course it was about tractors, those are good memories, Donna you will be on my prayer list and your family, the Lord lives in your heart and soul he will take care of you.God Bless you.O my love.Sandy Spease. 🙏🙏♥️
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