Saturday, April 20, 2013

Whew

Cliff has been really, really sick for a couple of days.  Sick to the point of dry-heaving and groaning, so sick he was unable to eat.  
He's pretty much over it as much as I can tell with him sleeping like a baby in the other room.  He's slept all night for the first time in three days.  The doctor and I think perhaps it's gallstones.  The results of the CT scan should tell us whether we're right.  
Cliff isn't that sick very often, but when he is, it's a wakeup call for me, a reminder to appreciate him.  Did you know that the very cows that make me smile and laugh all the time are a burden when Cliff isn't 100%?  The chickens I normally enjoy choring after aren't fun any more.  The fruit trees I check so often in spring, hoping for a large harvest, mean nothing to me, and I couldn't care less about the garden.  I was hopelessly depressed.  
I think about friends and relatives who have lost a husband or other close family member:  They have had to deal with this feeling on a permanent basis and somehow move on, perhaps taking a new path in a different direction, finding joy in life despite their losses.  For the most part, they do, even as they grieve.  
I salute those people.  

7 comments:

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I hope Cliff continues to feel better and you find out what the trouble is. You are so blessed to have him and I'm glad you appreciate what you do have. He is irreplaceable for sure. It's not easy, ever, for me living on my own and I've done so for too many years now. But I do have some wonderful memories.

Margaret said...

Love this post and love you, Donna! I know well the fear of having a loved one sick. For me, in spite of putting one foot in front of the other, keeping busy, and hanging out with friends, life is a sheet of gray without him.

Paula said...

You're right Mosie it ain't easy. I lived alone for eight years but you just pull yourself up by the boot straps and go on. Sometime you have to do it more then once.

TARYTERRE said...

Hope Cliff has improved more since you posted this.

Back Porch Writer said...

Glad Cliff is better. Hope you are enjoying the cows and chickens and fruit trees again.

Lori said...

I hope Cliff is feeling better today and you are both 100%!

Shininggoober said...

We just lost our 6 year old grandson, Ryder, and it was so hard to watch it happen. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. You write beautifully, from the heart. I hope you don't mind that I shared this post on facebook... a fellow Donna