Tuesday, October 08, 2013

With a small baby around...

Memories flood over me, memories of how it was when I had babies of my own.  
Did you know that if you have a baby that has colic, everybody thinks they know how to fix the problem?  
"He's spoiled; you need to let him cry."  
No, he is three weeks old.  He isn't spoiled.  
"If you would change his formula, he would be fine." 
Yeah, I started him out breastfeeding, and you are the one who convinced me to put him on formula.  Thanks for that.  He only cried more and puked more, and it was too late to go back.  

Would you believe there are STILL people who try to tell me what I should have done to get my child through colic?  Good grief, he's in his forties.  He survived, and I did too.  Shut up, and by the way, how is your kid doing these days?  

"He's cold."  
No, I think I'm aware of the temperature in my house, and besides I have plenty of warm clothes for my baby.  

You get the same kinds of advice if you have a child who is a bed-wetter, not saying that I ever did.
"If you'd spank that kid, she would stop that."  


"Stop giving her anything to drink after 4 PM."  

"Wake her up in the middle of the night and make her go to the bathroom."  

I was stupid enough to try every one of those, even the first, which is oh, so wrong.  

My advice to mothers is not to listen to any of the junk people tell you.  If it sounds reasonable and kind, go ahead and try it, but if it sounds cruel in any way, walk away and never look back.  

There is one word of advice I have about babies, and I have told it to several young moms who were weary from lack of sleep:  "It will pass.  There will come a time when you will wish you had one of these days back, just one.  The feeling of an infant on your shoulder, wriggling and gurgling.  The way that baby smiles when he sees you in the morning."  

It all goes by faster than you realize, and I'm here to tell you that when you are my age, you will realize how brief was that time when your children are small.

7 comments:

Paula said...

You tell 'em Mosie. I think we mothers know what is best for our own children.

Margaret said...

Wise words. I appreciated some of the advice I got from my mom and MIL, but other people, OY. Ashley was colicky and when she would get fussy in the evening, I would hand her to my laid back husband who would just lay her on his chest in the recliner and I'd go off for a walk. It was the best thing ever! He didn't mind if she cried, as long as he knew she was fed and changed whereas I took it as a sign I was doing something wrong. My mom fed me(also colicky) every time I made a peep; I was so rotund that I didn't walk until 14 months. LOL

TARYTERRE said...

GREAT ADVICE. I always tell moms to trust their instincts.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Oh yes, I so agree with you. I always tell them you can never love them enough, that is not going to spoil them.

Lori said...

Agreed!

Amy said...

...aaaaand I'm crying. Because you are so so right.

I tell anyone who is dumb enough to hand me their baby "I will spoil this baby. Unless it's something dangerous, it will get whatever it wants to the best of my ability." Ah well, at least they never have to worry about their kid being unhappy... :)

krueth said...

I go back and look at my kids' baby pictures and as they were growing up and just wish for those days of tiny babies back again. My baby is now 25. I do daycare and LOVE to sit and rock my babies in the afternoon during naptime for the rest of them. You have to enjoy each moment of them cause they do grow up so fast. But then comes the grandbabies and oh how I love to have 2 of them in daycare but my youngest one is 3 hours away :-( Wendy