Monday, April 16, 2012
Wednesday our baby girl goes in for surgery. It isn't about me, it's about her, but it has me on edge. The news, so far, has been fairly optimistic, and that has held my spirit steady until today. Today I'm a mess. I'm not pessimistic, I'm just nervous. I'm hoping for the best, but wanting to know for sure. Wanting it to be over. Wanting her to be declared cancer-free.
If I am that nervous, I can't even imagine how she is feeling.
To add to that, a kid I care about tried out for something at school. I couldn't believe she had the courage to try, because I never accepted any challenge in my life as a kid. I wouldn't compete because I might lose; this is part (perhaps all) of the reason I don't drive. What if I have a wreck, for heaven's sake? To this day, I don't attempt anything at which I might fail.
This young relative of mine went for it and was disappointed. That makes me sad. I just hope she won't give up. I want her to keep her eyes on the prize. I want her to fight the odds no matter what.
Unless something interesting comes up tomorrow, I probably won't do a blog entry. I just don't have the heart for it right now.