Monday, April 16, 2012

A mood




Wednesday our baby girl goes in for surgery.  It isn't about me, it's about her, but it has me on edge.  The news, so far, has been fairly optimistic, and that has held my spirit steady until today.  Today I'm a mess.  I'm not pessimistic, I'm just nervous.  I'm hoping for the best, but wanting to know for sure.  Wanting it to be over.  Wanting her to be declared cancer-free.
If I am that nervous, I can't even imagine how she is feeling.
To add to that, a kid I care about tried out for something at school.  I couldn't believe she had the courage to try, because I never accepted any challenge in my life as a kid.  I wouldn't compete because I might lose; this is part (perhaps all) of the reason I don't drive.  What if I have a wreck, for heaven's sake?  To this day, I don't attempt anything at which I might fail.
This young relative of mine went for it and was disappointed.  That makes me sad.  I just hope she won't give up.  I want her to keep her eyes on the prize.  I want her to fight the odds no matter what.


Unless something interesting comes up tomorrow, I probably won't do a blog entry.  I just don't have the heart for it right now.


12 comments:

Lisa said...

Sending lots of hugs your way (((((((((( Donna )))))))))

Hyperblogal said...

I've mentioned this many times. J.K. Rowling's first Harry Potter manuscript was turned down FIVE times before being accepted. 1 billion hardbacks later... those first five are feeling pretty stupid.

Donna in TEXAS said...

Actually you only fail if you never try.. .. There are many things in my life that took me a while to succeed at.. I always tell my kids it's only scarey the first time after that it's old hat.. I know when our babies are hurt no matter how old they are us mommas hate it.. Love to you Donna I pray god wraps you and your daughter up in his arms.. And gives you peace

Margaret said...

You know that I'm thinking of you and FEELING those same things along with you. Sending you hugs, prayers and love. Not to mention strength. xoxo

kcmeesha said...

My kid tried for advanced orchestra last month and didn't get in. The teacher only took kids who were taking classes on the side. She really put some effort into this, more than I would ever be willing to do. I felt bad for her, but she is not going to play violin for living and she is actually better than some kids who did get in. The teacher is dead to me.

TARYTERRE said...

Success is failure turned inside out. You have to try. I just want you to know that we'll all be there with you when your daughter has her surgery. Take what time you need. Right now she is the most important thing. I'm saying my prayers. Take care.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I'm praying too.

nerves05 said...

I know everything will be just fine. Rachel is so strong.. But i completely understand why you are feeling that way. I would feel the same way if one of my babies were going through this. I'm keeping all of you guys in my prayers and thoughts. Please keep us updated though on how it went even if it's just a small entry if you can.. Hang in there.. ((((hugs)))

darev2005 said...

Just take a deep breath and try to relax. What will happen will happen whether you tense up or not.

patsy said...

God be with you.

Becky said...

Sending you hugs and healing thoughts for your baby girl.

Lori said...

I'll be thinking of you and Rachel tomorrow! I'm sure everything will go well.