Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Am I the first?

Am I the first mother who, after hearing her daughter has cancer, thought, "This should have happened to me"?
The thing is, my daughter has girls in school and holds down a job.  She drives a long distance to work every day.  She's gone from home for about twelve hours a day during the week.  
Rachel doesn't have time to have cancer.  
I'm retired.  I have all the time in the world, and Cliff isn't tied down by a job, either.  I could have cancer and he could take me to chemo every day, and it would all work out fine.  What else are we doing?  
I wouldn't mind losing my hair.  I was a bald-headed baby, and I'm pretty sure I could deal with a bald head again.  


After I made an appointment to get my tattoo, I had a discussion with my oldest grandson  that went like this:  
Arick:  "Now that you're getting a tattoo, Heather (his girl friend) wants to get one; I'm not letting her do it."  
Me:  "But she is of age.  If she wants a tattoo, you shouldn't stop her."  
Arick:  "I know her too well; within a week, she'd hate it and regret getting it."  
Me:  "Do you think I will regret getting a tattoo?" 
Arick:  "No, Grandma, cause you don't give a sh*t."  


He isn't wrong.  That's why I'd be fine with a bald head.  I might even get a tattoo on my bald head, if it were me undergoing chemo.  
But it isn't me, it's my daughter.  And there's no way I can take her cancer and make it mine.  I stand helplessly by and hope for the best. 


11 comments:

Adirondackcountrygal said...

Standing by and supporting her is the best thing a Mom can do!

Becky said...

My wishes for Rachel are:
1. Short treatment time with few side-effects.
2. Good insurance coverage that leaves her feeling secure.
3. Understanding work/boss with enough leave (with pay) for her to take care of herself so she can take care of her family.
4. Full remission.
5. My influence with the powers that be is at its peak. :)

Margaret said...

As mothers, we all want to take on our daughters' pain. But hard times are how all of us grow as people. Cancer SUCKS. I hate it with a passion.

my stuff said...

My prayers are that she recovers completely. Period. I love that girl and so does Jesus.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I felt like that a few times in my life for sure. We want only good things for those we love. I would gladly take the place of any one of mine that was suffering, but it is not our choice and you are right that all we can do is be there for them. Remember to take it one day at a time and trust that all will be well. This too shall pass. Sending lots of Love and Hugs!

TARYTERRE said...

You are not alone in your thinking. When they found cancerous tumors/fibroids in my daughter's uterus when she was in her 20's I couldn't understand WHY either. Your job is to be a sounding board and support system for her. She gets her strength from you. CANCER eats you alive. Don't let her stop FIGHTING it. Full remission is possible. Sometimes the answers to our prayers are a long time coming. Stay the course. HANG IN THERE.

nerves05 said...

You a good momma.. No one wants to see there babies sick or hurt.we want to take it upon our selfs.
It stinks. But i know you are doing everything for her you can. and she is one strong chick anyways. I think she gets that from her mother :-)

((hugs))

Helen said...

I loved that song. All ours lives are in his hands. I have had times when my children were sick that I asked God to let me take their place and I would gladly do so. I know that you will be there if Rachel or her family needed you and so would Cliff. God bless and be with you and your precious family.

Carlene Noggle said...

Oh Donna, I know your heart is hurting because we as mama's don't ever want to see our children suffer. Yes, I too would gladly take the place of my loved ones if they are sick. Your Rachael is a tough girl and I believe she gets it from her mama! love you.

Lori said...

I am so sorry you guys are going through this. I hate feeling helpless, and I know you do too.

Anita said...

YOur words brought tears to my eyes. I had to listen to the entire song to bring my smile back.

I agree with what the others have said. Prayers and blessings for your daughter and all who love her.

On another note - you have a tattoo! Not for me, but how COOL for you!:)