Evil squashbugs

Oh yes, just as my zucchini started to yield, I started finding squash-bug eggs on some of the leaves of the plants, and I even found a couple of the bugs themselves.  I tear off the part of the leaves with eggs on it and attempt to kill the adult bugs (usually I fail at that because they're so fast, and they blend in with the dirt).  Then I spray with Malathion.  Last year I won the war; who knows what will happen this year.  
I cleaned and filled the hummingbird feeders this morning.  In this hot weather, it seems like they go bad very quickly.  Then I dumped the water out of Jody's water tub because it was starting to turn green.  I use a brush and bleach and scrub the sides and bottom of the tub because if you don't, the green is back the next day.  She seemed very glad to taste some cool, fresh water, and stood there a long time taking sip after sip.  
Cliff is already changing his sleeping pattern.  Last night he went to bed right after I did, and when I got out of bed at 5 A.M., he said, "You may as well make enough coffee for both of us."  
I like having our sleep cycles the same.  For one thing, if I ever get back to walking with Cliff, we'll get it done before the heat of the day.  Since my knee swelled up so much last week, I'm afraid to push the walking again.  While Cliff and Iris walk, I do my therapy exercises and put in ten minutes on the exercise bike.  That will have to do, for now.

The weather has straightened up to the point that I can go outside every morning at first daylight and see which flowers are blooming, and what seeds have germinated and sprung up in the garden.  That's how I like to start the day.  
Once again I'm having quite a problem with my knees; going uphill or ascending steps is very painful lately, so that I limp my way along during much of our daily walk.  I think I'm going to have to let Cliff do the hills by himself, and I'll walk around on the level until he rejoins me.  
So here I am weighing the consequences of going to the orthopedist.  Unless I go, I don't know whether I have other options besides knee replacement.  If it's time for knee replacement, do I want to be laid up in summer?  We'd have to cancel our motorcycle plans, and I doubt that I could do much gardening while recuperating.  On the other hand, right now we have two insurances:  Cliff's plan from work, and my Medicare Complete; once he retires, it will only be Medicare.  I can't help but think about the people I've heard of who developed staph infection after knee surgery and almost died.  There are so many things to consider, but of course if I don't go to the orthopedist, I won't be making any decision.  
OK, my whining is done for this day; after all, it could be worse:  My knees don't hurt when I'm sitting or lying down.    
My sister, as always, brought back bushels of grapefruit from Texas.  They are especially appreciated this year, since there was no crop last year.  
Grapefruits must have been fairly cheap when I was a kid, because I remember we had them fairly often.  Mother taught me to eat them by slicing them in half, sprinkling a teaspoon of sugar on each half, and digging my spoon into each section one by one, bringing out a nice little juicy spoonful of fruit.  When I had gotten all I could with my spoon, I'd squeeze the half-grapefruit onto my plate, pick up the plate to my mouth, and slurp all the juice as though drinking from a cup.  I never did have very good table manners.  
Nowadays I stand over the sink or step outside, peel the grapefruit like an orange, eat the pulp from each section and toss the bitter membrane.  There's no need for sugar on these Texas grapefruits.  
If we don't go for a motorcycle ride today, I'll mow the yard.  It's looking pretty bad.  
I haven't been blogging as much lately, nor am I reading as many blogs as usual.  I guess I'm just in a slump, or maybe it's spring fever.  I don't know when I've ever been so happy to see spring arrive as I am this year.  

Feet

I have terrible feet.  They're ugly, and they sometimes give me grief.  
First of all, I have really big feet.  Let's not talk about the size, OK?  I'm a little sensitive on that subject.  
I've abused my feet throughout my life; I never wear shoes unless I have to, so I've stepped on nails, razor blades, and other assorted objects that left scars; one such incident sent me to the emergency room.  I've stepped in all manner of excrement and I've trodden on live snakes.  
I put up with nasty toenail fungus for years until finally I had a podiatrist permanently remove my toenails.  
I told you my feet were ugly.  
I developed a very painful case of plantar fasciitis while I was working at Kohl's; I was on my feet all day, and I had to have some relief.  I went to the podiatrist again and had special inserts made for my shoes.  For the first time in my life, I started putting my shoes on as soon as I got out of bed, because those inserts really did fix the pain of plantar fasciitis.   I was given the impression that once a person has this condition, she has it for life.  
But about three years ago I started going barefoot again.  No pain!  I put the inserts in a drawer.  
Unfortunately, because of the years of going barefoot and stubbing my toes hundreds of times, I have arthritis in my toes and various other parts of my feet.  When the podiatrist looked at x-rays of my feet, he said, "When did you break your toes?"  
"Which time," I asked.  "and which toes?"  
So yesterday, what's left of the arch in my left foot was causing me pain, and I got out the old inserts.  Sometimes they help the pain in other areas of my feet besides my heels.  
The inserts tend to make my ankles twist when I'm not used to using them, not a big deal to me.  Although Cliff, at one point, said, "Take those #@$* things off before you kill yourself."   
Descending the first and steepest hill of our walk, leaves are thick, so it's hard to see everything that lies in the path. In an incident having absolutely nothing to do with the inserts, my right foot stepped on a round stick that rolled with me, causing me to fall with my right foot stretched out straight ahead of me and my left knee totally bent under, with me sitting on that leg.  
Cliff was sure something was broken.  
"I'm not fragile, nor that easily broken," I told him.  "My knee hurts, that's all.  It's a good thing I don't have replacements; this would probably have messed knee replacements up, big time."  
Cliff gave me a hand up and we finished our walk.  My knee pain didn't last long.  
All that came of the incident is a sprained foot and ankle, just enough to take my mind totally off the aching arch I had yesterday.  I'm limping around the house, but I'm fine.  I'd go ahead and go for a walk today if it wasn't raining.  
Meanwhile, Cliff thinks we should go to the walking track at the park for our walks now; it's safer.  
I say, let's wait until I have those fake knees to do that.  It's boring down there!  

In a funk

For some reason I was in a funk yesterday. The wind was blowing so hard we could barely stand up when we took our walk; Cliff was in a grumpy mood (possibly because I was in a funk); it was gray, cloudy, and cold. Maybe I'm just dreading winter, or maybe my indecision about whether to see the orthopedist about knee replacement is getting me down.

Anyhow, yesterday was one of those rare days when I couldn't think of a thing I wanted to blog about.

The knee decision really does bother me; I personally know someone who got staph infection and almost died from the surgery to give him a new knee. I know people that weren't all that pleased with the results of their surgeries. On the other hand, I have ladies telling me how knee replacement changed their lives, got them mobile again and ended years of pain.

I'd say at its worst, my pain level is a three or four, unless there's a catch in one of my knees when stepping up, down or sideways. Then there's a second or two of level eight pain, but that is brief. The thing about the pain is that it's there all the time if I'm on my feet. So I find myself staying off my feet more all the time; this leads to weight gain, which isn't good for the knees either. Eat less you say? Easier said than done.

I don't expect any advice; I have advice from plenty of sources already. I just need to decide whether to take the plunge or not. My doctor doesn't really push me one way or the other; she tells me my options, explains everything bad that could possibly happen with knee surgery, and leaves it up to me to decide. Twice when pain became so severe I couldn't straighten or bend my leg, I've had meniscus repair that fixed the problem.

While I don't need any more advice than I've already received, I would appreciate a prayer or two for guidance in making this decision.

One thing and another

Just in case some of you are Pioneer Woman fans and missed it, you can catch her appearance on the Bonnie Hunt Show HERE. I have never watched that show, but as I was fast-forwarding to Ree's slot, I saw Dr. Greene, of E.R. I just saw him die on the show last week! He seems very genuine. And so does Ree Drummond.

I'm getting along fine with my Mac; oh, there's this one problem that makes me wonder what's going on; I downloaded Open Office, a word processing program. It works just dandy, but it has parked itself on my desktop looking like a little plug-in, and thinks it's a CD. When I try to remove it by dragging it to the trash, it tells me it can't be ejected because it's in use. I know I shouldn't find this hilarious, but I do! The little word processor that thinks it's a CD or DVD! It doesn't cause any trouble; it just sits there looking innocent, and I surf away to my heart's content.

I'm on the verge of making an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon; my knees are hurting enough lately that I find myself avoiding walking, even for small distances. Pain relievers provide me with no relief, even prescription ones; they never did, and I quit taking them years ago; OK, Vicodin relieves the pain, but who wants to be a junkie? Besides, I hate taking pills. I don't hurt when I'm in bed or sitting, although I have to be careful how I position myself or I'm in for a painful pop in one knee or the other; but the less I walk, the fatter I become. I'm sure some of you can relate.

Besides, right now I am insured where Cliff works, and I also have Medicare as my secondary coverage; I imagine it would be wise to do something while I have that much coverage.

If Dr. Strong asks which knee, I'll tell her to take her pick, because they both hurt equally. She won't do both knees at once.

Finally, one of my favorite commenters asked how long I've been blogging and chatting: I found the CTI chat room on AOL not long after I got my first computer, in 1998. It wasn't crazy like most chat rooms, I think partially because you couldn't get there directly; you had to go to a website, then click into chat. Also, it was an "over-fifty" and "Christian" room, so lots of troublemakers weren't interested. Don't get me wrong, though: there were plenty of trolls, especially toward the end. It got to the point of being like junior high, with people accusing others of having cliques, and plenty of gossip and petty jealousies. It turned me totally off the whole chat-room experience, and nowadays, even when the old group of people I care about very much gets together in a private chat, I don't take part. Chat rooms left a very bitter taste in my mouth.

Missing the interaction of the chat room, I haunted a few message boards. Guess what? There are trolls there too! And people who like to argue if your opinion is different from theirs.

That's when I started blogging, so I could say what I darn well pleased; and if people didn't like it, they didn't have to read it. I started my AOL journal in the spring of 2004, and there I found my niche.

I rode my horse yesterday

The world is a wet, mushy, muddy mess indeed, which takes a lot of fun out of riding a horse. But I had only ridden Blue one time, I think, since Thanksgiving. My knee was causing me such pain that even that one ride was cut short.

So I had surgery two weeks ago, and had my follow-up appointment with the doctor Wednesday. I'm in much less pain now, so hopefully this surgery will get me another couple of years before I'm forced to have a more drastic operation.

I didn't ask the doctor if it was OK to ride, because I was afraid she'd put me off another week or two, and with the weather forecast they're giving, it doesn't look like I'll be riding this weekend... or any of the coming week. Blue is a gentle boy, and I figure if I'm OK to walk around, I'm good to ride.

Blue seemed happy to be on the road again, even with the slipping and sliding he was doing. I started to ride him to the river bottoms, but when we got to the shaded part of the road leading there, it was covered in ice where snow had melted and frozen back. No way!

I was out less than an hour, but it felt so good to be on horseback.

drugs

As a result of a torn meniscus in my right knee, walking causes me incredible pain right now. Sitting or lying down (as long as I don't try to turn over) I'm fine; walking or squatting, or just the act of getting from a standing to a sitting position or visa versa, hurts like crazy; badly enough that I groan or even yell sometimes. Because of this, I'm not presently doing much in the way of physical activity: no daily walk, no horseback riding. Even getting on the motorcycle is not worth the cost in pain. Lord knows I'm afraid to get on the bathroom scale, since I don't do much more than watch TV and surf the Internet. And I'm incredibly grouchy; can't you tell?

Arthroscopic surgery is scheduled for one week from today, and I have never in my life been so anxious to have a medical procedure done. I had this problem with my left knee, three years ago; the surgery ended the sharp pain at that time. My knees are still bone-on-bone arthritic, but that's a dull pain that I can live with for now.

At my last appointment I asked the orthopedist if I could have something for pain while waiting for surgery, and she wrote out a prescription for Darvocet. While it does take some of the edge off the pain, it surely doesn't dull it much, and it often upsets my stomach. I called the office to see if they had anything else in their bag of tricks. A prescription was called in for Hydrocodone. OK, this helps the pain quite a bit more, makes me a little fuzzy-headed, and.... gives me acid indigestion. And I only allow myself to take two, once a day, because of their reputation for becoming habit-forming.

According to everything I've read on the Internet, both these drugs are popular on the street as "party drugs". I tell you, dear readers, I feel like anything but partying after taking either of them! If two capsules make me feel the way these do, I can't imagine what you'd feel like after taking a handful.

Today I'll be limping into the dentist's office to keep an appointment. How can life get any better? I won't be taking any drugs before I go, because I don't need acid indigestion while I'm reclining in the dentist chair.

Meanwhile, I count the moments until next Thursday. And I pray that the procedure that helped my left knee will be effective on my right one.

Sorry about such a downer of a blog entry; it just happens to be my day to gripe!