Morning ramblings

During the past couple of weeks I've been trying to trim my list of Facebook friends:  I don't have a problem with any or the people on my friend list, but there are people who never post a status update on Facebook or show any sort of activity there.  If I go to their "wall", all I see is a few birthday wishes that people posted six months ago.  And then there are those that I hardly know in real life: they won't know the difference if I unfriend them; they probably already have their settings fixed so they don't see my all-too-frequent updates.  
Surprisingly, I am still left with 367 friends.  There was one guy I was going to unfriend, but when I went to his wall and saw a picture of him, his wife, and their two sons, I just couldn't do it.  I used to watch those boys in the nursery at church, and I like seeing them all grown up.  I may eventually knock the guy off my friend list, but not until I've looked at those fully-grown, handsome boys a couple more times.  With a couple of exceptions, I can now look at the "wall" of any of my friends and know exactly who they are. 
Here's a surprising thing to me:  At one time I needed more Farmville friends on Facebook, so people referred some of their relatives and friends to me, and I added them so I could be a more successful Farmville farmer.  It stands to reason that since I no longer play the game, I could easily get rid of those people, wouldn't you think?  Oh no!  I interact with most of them regularly.  They are nice people, and I don't want to lose their status updates.  I enjoy seeing their pets and their children and all their smiling faces.  


On to another note:  Before Cliff retired, we agreed to drop subscriptions to most magazines and newspapers.  With the Internet, who needs all that stuff coming in the mail?  Evidently Cliff does, because one by one he has resubscribed to most of the magazines we dropped over a year ago.  He gets two Oliver-collector magazines, and he recently subscribed to this: 

It's chock-full of home-made inventions and bright ideas, and Cliff decided he can't live without it.  I think he's considering resubscribing to Antique Power, too.  If you want an antique tractor magazine that's professionally done, it's the best.  
I, on the other hand, have not felt the need to start getting any newspapers or magazines.  The last time someone called from the Kansas City Star with a bargin subscription price for me, I told them I wouldn't take the paper if it was free.  It's just something for me to haul to the trash.  
However, this morning I actually realized that I've missed the Odessan.  It's a weekly local paper that carries the school news, and I have granddaughters in school.  Besides, I can keep up with the obituaries and divorces and traffic tickets around here. I caved and made out a check. 
So far I've managed to rake up the money for all these subscriptions, so I guess it's OK.

318 Facebook friends, and and how they came to be there

I glance through my list of Facebook friends every once in awhile; it's interesting that they got on that list for such different reasons.  
I don't accept friend requests from people I don't recognize without asking them, "Do I know you?  Why did you send me a request?"  
Usually if I don't know the person by name, she turns out to be a reader of my blog, or else a fellow blogger.  Once identified as such, I add them to my list of friends.  Later on I may not remember the name or why I added them, but I do know they're there for a reason.  
Of course there are relatives and almost-relatives and relatives-of-relatives, some of whom I've gotten to know a lot better because of Facebook.  I recognize all their names and faces.  
I have a dozen or so friends who hang out at my favorite message board.  Those friend requests were confusing when I received them, since we all make up whatever "handle" we want on that board.  So most of those had to explain to me who they were before I added them.  
There are the local folks, some I've attended church with at one time or another and some who have been my co-workers in the past.  A few of them are among my oldest grandson's group of pals; he himself has no use for Facebook.  There are a couple of my daughter's old high school buddies and a farmer who taught Ag for many years in my town.  
There are a few people from my old chat room, many of whom I've met in person.   
Some people stepped right out of my past, middle-aged adults with whom I babysat as children.   
Unlike so many folks, I don't have one single grade school or high school friend on Facebook, unless you want to count Henry Hornet (the high school mascot) and a couple of ladies I've never met who saw me on the Henry Hornet fan page and sent a request.  One of them lived in Harlem as a child, several years after I lived there.
I really was a loner in school.  I didn't have close friends, and the scary thing is, I didn't care.  
I went through perhaps a ten-year period in the 1990's when I was outgoing and gregarious.  I've often wondered what triggered this, and why it didn't last.  For no particular reason, I slipped back into the hermit phase shortly after the turn of the century, midway through the time I worked at Kohl's DC; and I seem to be settled comfortably into that mode now, leaving Cliff as my best and truest friend.   

The soul selects her own society, 
Then shuts the door;
On her divine majority
Obtrude no more.
Unmoved, she notes the chariot's pausing
At her low gate;
Unmoved, an emperor is kneeling
Upon her mat.
I've known her from an ample nation
Choose one;
Then close the valves of her attention
Like stone.  
                 Emily Dickinson  

247 Facebook friends

Meesha left this comment for me on Facebook: "I don't even know 247 people, even if I include the mailman and the guy who plows my driveway." (I trimmed it to 245 this morning.)

That got me thinking (a rare and dangerous occurrence, to be sure). Just how many of those two hundred forty-seven Facebook friends of mine do I really know, and why are they listed as my friends?

Let's break it down.

Of course, there are the relatives, both mine and Cliff's.

Then there are former co-workers.

Some are people I've known from Church.

Some are local acquaintances and neighbors.

I have a few friends of grandchildren on the list; if my oldest grandchildren won't come to Facebook, I'll watch their friends!

There are also people listed who went to school with my children.

All of these, I know (or knew) in real life.

I started blogging on AOL journals, and got to "know" a lot of my fellow J-Land buddies by reading about their lives. I've seen some lose a spouse; I've read about babies being born. I've seen romance blossom, then wither. All of that in J-land. Who needs soap operas? This is the real thing, baby!

AOL closed the door on journals and many people moved to Blogger; I had already been here for over a year, and had found new friends before I was joined by the J-land refugees. I found a list of Kansas City bloggers and added some of them to my "must-read" list.

I used to frequent three message boards ; I only keep up with one now, and that would be Tractor Tales. But there are people I've chatted with on all three with whom I still keep in touch.

I haven't met very many of these in real life, but many of them I've "known" for years on the 'Net.

And last is the group from the old AOL Christian chat room. They are Internet friends, but I've probably met at least 3/4 of them in person over the years. So they're real-life friends, too. Some of them would be right here if I needed them, believe it... even if they had to fly across the country. Now that I think of it, some of them are my best friends, reliable and true.

Oh, there's a handful of "friends of friends" who needed more neighbors in Farmville or Yoville and were added to my list; but those are few.

Now what's strange about this is that I don't have a lot of friends in real life. I was an only child for all intents and purposes, since my sister was married and gone when I was two years old. We lived in rural settings until I was twelve, and I learned to live in my mind and populate the world around me with imaginary people, animals and situations. I know there were relatives who felt sorry for me, not having any siblings to grow up with; but I can honestly say I was happy with my imaginings. To this day, I just don't need people around me the way most folks do; I have no problem with that, so don't pity me.

But on the Internet? I'll take all the friends I can get!