Whoa!!!

Cliff was up bright and early at 5 A.M. today.  We got our daily walk in by 8 AM, and decided to box up all the Dish TV equipment and get it back to them.  The instructions mentioned that there might be a switch on the outside of the house to return; not all systems have a switch.  
Cliff confidently stated that he knew where it was and headed outside.  I sat down at the computer and was farming away on Farmville when I suddenly lost connection.  
I knew Cliff had something to do with it, and I went out to check.  
Yep.  What he thought was a Dish switch was our telephone and DSL connection.  He'd cut the wires.  I checked the phone just to make sure; it was dead as a doornail.  (Where did that expression come from, anyhow?)   
Cliff was so angry at himself he could hardly see straight.  
"Well," he sighed, "I'll try to patch it up."  
"Nooooo," I shouted.  He looked at me like I was crazy.  
"Cliff, an Internet connection out here is shaky at best; please don't try to fix it."
So I called the CenturyLink number for repairs; after being put on hold for about ten minutes, a polite lady with an Oklahoma (or Texas) accent came on the line.  I told her we needed someone to come out and repair our line outside the house.  
"Exactly what is the problem?"
When I explained to her what had happened, she started laughing, and she hardly stopped laughing throughout the rest of our conversation.  
I made her day.    
She was actually a sweetheart... when she wasn't laughing.  She told me somebody would be here to fix our problem by 7 PM.  Ouch.  
However, a repairman showed up by 9 o'clock, got everything back in working order, and I'm back in business.  
That was a close call.