Monday, April 13, 2015

Living with insomnia (and morning thoughts)

Once upon a time, it bothered me to wake up in the night and be unable to go back to sleep.  The minutes seemed like hours.  There always seemed to be something to be worrying about as I lay there awake and bored, and that seemed to compound the problem.    

I still lie awake for major portions of every night, but worries don't bother me any more.  Oh, last summer when the grandson was trying to get the old house remodeled, I'd wake up and get to worrying about one thing or another; but now I'm back to normal.  There are things I could let bother me in the lives of those around me, but I've learned to leave everybody else's problems alone and let them deal with them; my worrying won't change things anyhow.  These days if I find myself obsessing about something that's none of my business, I have learned to turn my mind in another direction.  In my old age, my mind performs perfect, legal u-turns.

Funny thing is, time doesn't even seem to drag when I'm awake in the night, the way it used to.  I've laid awake for a couple hours at a time, glanced at the clock occasionally, and not let the time bother me.  

Another funny thing:  No matter how little I sleep, by the time I've been up and around for a couple of hours, I don't feel any worse for the lack of sleep.  

So I lay awake from 1:30 until 4 o'clock this morning, and it honestly didn't seem like more than half an hour.  I fooled with the IPad for a while, but mostly I just lay there thinking how pleasant it is to lie in bed and listen to the rain coming down steadily.  I often take a deep breath and think what a gift it is to be able to breath deeply:  I have in-laws with asthma who can't get a truly deep breath, no matter how they try.

I often thank God that my knees don't hurt when I'm lying in bed, because I've heard lots of people say that's when their knees bother them a lot.  I do know the feeling, because before I had the meniscus repairs several years ago, I couldn't straighten out my knees when I was lying down.  It was awful!  

Friday night and Saturday nights I slept for over eight hours, only getting up once each night for the bathroom.  I wish I knew what caused the deep sleep, because I haven't slept so well in years!  Last night, I was back to normal, which is OK.  If that's the worst problem I ever have, I'm in good shape.

We are without Cora, as she is still with her grandma in Iowa.  I'm not sure when she'll be back, but Cliff and I will surely be ready for her.  She will have learned all kinds of new tricks and will be saying new words.  It's so cute to hear her saying things in her own toddler way:  "Go-yee" for girl and "mo-yee" for more.  I have ordered her a new "Little People" toy to be delivered to the nearest Walmart, and we will be anxious to see how she likes that when she returns; it will fit right in with the "little people" farm she already has here.  

That child has certainly given us something to look forward to.  

The grandson found out where the cows have been getting out at the back of the place and took a picture.  A tree has fallen on the fence.  This happens fairly often, as one would expect when the fence runs right through the woods.  

He also found this little gray morel while he was in the woods.  It's early yet; nobody has found huge quantities of them.  



It is frustrating for sure, to be restless when trying to sleep. Glad you found the tree so the cows can't be escaping anymore. I bet Cora gets excited about her new toy. I know how happy you will be to see her again. Take care.

Paula said...

I'm the same way as far as sleep goes. You might find me doing laundry at three a.m. or reading or----. We might as well have a good attitude because it ain't going away.

Sister--Three said...

I have the same sleep problem. I am trying to do like you and just live with it. I get the iPad too sometimes, but often I pray for others. I pray for folks not really closely related to me who are down and out. It takes my mind off myself. I am glad you got the cows home safely!

Margaret said...

When I retire, I don't think it will bother me to be awake during the night; it's more depressing in the dark when I'm now alone and have to get up early for work. But I just try to relax and stay calm.