Since I reached adulthood (many years ago), I've had a tendency to be a little depressed around Christmas; I've never been able to put my finger on a cause. I know part of it is S.A.D., but somehow there's a special low I get as Christmas draws nigh. There was a time I could bake my way out of it, but Cliff and I have no will power; if I bake cookies, we'll eat them. So I mope around feeling sorry for myself, missing out on fruitcake and brown sugar candy and cranberry bread.
A close relative lost his job. That doesn't help my mood.
Today an old friend of ours, Bud Smith, was buried; that puts added clouds in my sky. He was the type of guy that, if you called him to come and help, he was right there. You could count on it. In recent months Alzheimer's got hold of him and he wasn't the same person we used to know, according to his daughter.
We got word this afternoon that one of Cliff's cousins has, at most, a few days to live.
I suppose I'm just being reminded of my own mortality.
Then there's cancer. For three years I've followed the blogs of two young mothers who were diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer around the same time. This is a cancer that you're never rid of. No doctor will ever say you're cured. Both these ladies have had a recent recurrence and are going through chemo, again. Their fondest hopes are that they make it long enough to see their children grow up. How is it I get to live to be sixty-six, and these ladies probably won't?
I've recently discovered another blogger who just found out her husband has lung cancer.
I had, today, a light bulb moment: I've always tried to think of something to say to these people and leave a comment on their blogs. Today it hit me that, since I don't know these folks personally, I'd do well to read what they have to say, whisper a prayer for them, and move on. It's probably best if I leave the commenting to people who know them in real life, and that's what I intend to do from now on.
But it just weighs on a person, knowing what kind of Christmas these folks are having.
With that said, I wish all my readers a peaceful, healthy and happy Christmas.