Friday, April 20, 2007

about me

I think people get the impression that they know me well after they've read my journals for awhile; I suppose in many ways, they do.

But there's an aspect of my personality that doesn't often show through in my blogging life that I'm going to share now:

I'm totally a hermit at heart. I could spend the rest of my life without seeing or talking to another person except Cliff, and I'd get by just fine. The main thing I have against where I live is the total lack of privacy. Even back in the woods where my cabin is, you never know when somebody is liable to show up. (Especially during morel season.) Wasn't it Greta Garbo who was famous for saying, "I vant to be alone"?

My sentiments exactly. And it seems to get worse, the older I get.

Cliff has often said I don't need people around, and I'd say that's pretty much right, except that I do need him (he's not always so sure about that point, but it's true... and no, not just for his money-making abilities).

Because of my solitary ways, I suppose the second thing goes without saying: I am very self-centered. I'm not as compassionate as I ought to be; I have to work at empathy; it doesn't come naturally.

All this may go back to my childhood, because I was the only child in our household after my sister got married when I was two years old. We lived in various country places without a lot of neighbors around, and I learned early on to make my own entertainment and play make-believe alone. Daddy once told me that when I was small, I liked to have other kids come to visit, but I was glad to see them leave, too.

That hasn't changed.

So now you know.

11 comments:

Joyful Days said...

I am a hermit in the making too. Except I think I have a lot more neighbors than you do. I am so happy to stay home and just have my hubs and my boys. A lot of people don't get that.

My favorite place that we lived was on seven acres. You could walk out and not see the nearest neighbor for the trees. Now I can throw rocks at a fast-food restaurant. Some day I'll get back to the country.

Have a great weekend.

toni (in the midst...) said...

Well, I'm that way (sort of). I definitely enjoy the isolation of the country (though it's more about the open spaces, no solicitors, no traffic, etc.)

And I don't like to spend time away from my dh. He *is* my best friend and I don't have a single girlfriend whose company I enjoy more.

OTOH, I do wish I had just a few (two or three) close girlfriends to occasionally have coffee with. The thing is, I don't really desire those to be one-on-one friendships. Rather, I would prefer that a small group of us got together.

So, yes. I can somewhat relate.
Blessings,
~Toni~

Astaryth said...

I soooo relate to this! I love that we live 'on property' where G works. It is out in the country (although not fun when you try to give directions... we are literally at the end of a dead end dirt road behind a huge privacy fence). There are other people who live here, but because the others all work together and see each other during the day they don't hang out after work together ;p

I can go days without seeing anyone except G! We live 5 miles from a smallish town and about 20 minutes from a larger one (mall & shopping!). The little town is nice and the checkout girls recognize me, the people at the feed store know me to say HI!, but that's it! G worries about me being alone, but I LIKE it! As long as I have my animals, my computer and books to read.... I'm -very- content.

BarnGoddess said...

The last 5 years I have really became a hermit or as my friends call me 'the recluse'.


If I did not have to go to town daily to pick up my son from school, I'd never leave my place.

I see nothing wrong with that...besides people are so complicated.

Tracey said...

We're all hermits, Donna, which is why we sit here at our computer screens instead of talking face to face =)

Donna said...

Well, it looks like I'm not so weird after all. I think Tracey hit the nail on the head.

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bring your mountain dew ,coffee or what ever,cracker pie or anything else even art work. Just bring y'alls selvs.
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Midlife Mom said...

Nothing wrong with liking to be alone. I live in a neighborhood even though we are on 400 acres cause the acerage is all in the back. Thankfully my neighbors are busy with their work, yards, kids and all so it's not bad. When I go out back of my house it's total privacy and I can walk or ride for an hour before I see another face. Needless to say I spend a lot of time out back where I'm in my own world with my horses.

Celeste said...

Welcome fellow hermit!

Shaz said...

I'm not a hermit but I treasure time alone with my thoughts & sometimes long for a reclusive life style but I know if I was granted my wish I'd regret it. Thanks for sharing a little more of yourself with us x x x

Captain Lifecruiser said...

Welcome to the club ;-) I'm like that too -except from Mr Lifecruiser of course. And my best friend too. And as you say: it gets worse by the age :-)

I've accepted it. We're all different (thankfully) and we've the rights to be as we are. Nothing to be ashamed over, feel guilty about or regret - only to accept and respect.

I guess it's because of that we feel so comfortable with animals, my best friend and I. They accept you as you are without demands :-)